More shit that just doesn’t get talked about.

by statia on October 30, 2006

Ok first things first. Our fat tail has been found. I know, no one really cares, but man, I was really worried that he was totally gone. But he must have made his way into the hall closet and as a last ditch effort, the meester decided to check there for the 40th time. I know, lizards freak a lot of people out, but he’s such a cute little guy and friendly.

But really, more importantly, my arms and legs are shrinking. Seriously people, they don’t tell you this, but pregnancy will make you feel as if your limbs are shrinking. I feel as if I’m walking with stumpy little legs and I can’t keep up. I know it’s the fact that I’m growing enormously by the day, but I was kind of hoping my legs wouldn’t shrink.

Then there’s the other issue of the arms. I hate to tell you all this, but I just had trouble wiping my own ass.

The next four months are going to be loads of fun.


Jennifer October 30, 2006 at 8:29 pm

HA HA HA! HA!! I can’t wait for the stories about how you have to bend over to pee… CAN’T WAIT!

jen October 31, 2006 at 3:56 am

I am NOT giggling right now. Nope, not at all.
:o P

Melissa October 31, 2006 at 5:15 am

Oh just wait! It only gets better!!

buddha October 31, 2006 at 5:27 am

Did the shortness of breath and wheezing accompany the lack of arm reach while wiping your ass?

If your legs and arms are indeed shrinking you may wind up like a “little person” and fall off the toilet at one point.

Just sayin…

donna October 31, 2006 at 5:52 am

I have trouble wiping my ass too, and have for a while now. I thought it was just me. I feel much better now.

Oh and I do have to kind of bend/squat when I pee to make sure that I get it all out, or else I’ll just be back there in a few minutes. I like to be efficient, you know.

mel October 31, 2006 at 5:58 am

these are good things to know. thank you. I don’t feel nearly as distraught over having a fucked up uterus. Not at all. I personally like being able to wipe my own ass and the thought of not being able to do that makes me wonder if there really is a BIGGER PLAN!! hmmmm….things to think about.

And now all I can think of is that episode of the Simpsons when Homer gets really fat and says “I wash my myself with a rag on a stick” – ahhh, I can’t.

geeky October 31, 2006 at 6:58 am

omg, now i’m picturing you trying to wipe and falling off the toilet because you couldn’t reach and you stretched too far.


Steff October 31, 2006 at 2:12 pm

You must put the laptop down before you try to reach back there!

girl November 1, 2006 at 8:23 am

I promise that I’m laughing with you, not at you. No, really. I’m just waiting for the post when you tell us that the Meester had to wipe your ass for you, right after he shaved the wookie.

just another jenny November 1, 2006 at 5:43 pm

Stop it! Will the meester help you with the ass wipe as well as cooter maintenance?

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