That’s what the dog told me.

by statia on August 28, 2006

Ever since becoming pregnant, various people, such as the people at the lab, or at the pharmacy while picking up my vitamins have asked me how we found out.

Now, thus far, I haven’t really belted out from the rooftops in real life that we were going through fertility treatments. Not because I’m embarrassed, no, it’s just a part of who I am, but because it’s not something that comes up in casual conversation. My first reaction is to want to be a complete smartass and say, “uh, I peed on a stick” or “that’s what the blood test told us.” Because if you’re a woman, how many ways are there to find out? But I wear this badge of infertility with honor and I tell them, “we did invitro, so it wasn’t a surprise.” You can just tell by the look of disgust on their faces that these are fertiles. It’s not a look of pity, or a look of embarrassment. It’s a full on look of “ew, you’re damaged goods and why didn’t you just lie to me?” And rightfully I can’t, because I PAID A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY to go through this you whore, and I’m going to tell it like it is. Not everyone drinks out of the same glass as their signifigant other and gets knocked up. Not only that, it’s really NONE of your business how I found out anyway.

And one of these days, they’re going to catch me on a cranky day and when they ask, I’m going to tell them the dog told me.


Camille August 28, 2006 at 6:26 pm

who the hell asks how you found out? i have never heard of anyone asking how you found out you were pregnant. seriously?! that is so stupid.

Tracy August 28, 2006 at 6:47 pm

Which dog? ;-)

Beth August 28, 2006 at 6:55 pm

What the hell kind of question is that? Nobody ever asked me that. I think you should go with a shocked expression and “I’m pregnant?”

Steff August 28, 2006 at 6:58 pm

OMG…how inconsiderate of that moron!

Amy August 28, 2006 at 7:40 pm

Um, what Camille and Beth said. No one ever asked me how I found out I was pregnant. That is just weird. And I can’t imagine if I DID ask someone that question, which I wouldn’t since I’m not a moron – but that’s besides the point. If I did ask that, I wouldn’t be horrified if the answer was IVF. I mean, why would I be?? What difference does it make to me? People are strange.

geeky August 28, 2006 at 7:44 pm

people seriously ask you that? what kind of answer are they expecting anyway? i think you should tell them Tom Cruise found out from his alien friends and called you.

Jonathan August 28, 2006 at 10:35 pm

Gromit’s powers of observation should probably never be underestimated.

Helga(hkvam) August 29, 2006 at 4:09 am

Idiotic people.. I guess it never ends in a way, just a different set of questions. While TTC you get the “so when are you going to have a baby” or the oh ever so classical “you’ll understand when you have children”.

Good to see youre all hormonal and getting to hear all those “new” questions though;)

Minawolf August 29, 2006 at 5:35 am

Honestly, I don’t get the look of disgust. The whole damaged goods concept is archaic as well. I can’t help but think that anyone that tries hard values it more.

Merrin August 29, 2006 at 9:03 am

Remind me to tell you what my MIL asked me when she found out we quit infertility treatments……

Kate August 29, 2006 at 9:41 am

Um. That’s fucked as hell. If anything, they should be happier.

Teresa August 29, 2006 at 11:50 am

WTF??? Asking how you found out? Never was asked that, but when I was buying a pregnancy test once, the cashier actually went “uh oh, looks like someone might be expecting something-is this a good thing?” I could not even answer, just sat there with my mouth agape and staring. What a fucking idiot-some people are just morons, plain and simple.

Deltus August 29, 2006 at 12:50 pm

It startles me how so many people just don’t know when, and about what, to keep their mouths shut. Never discuss sex, religion, or politics. Unless you actually see a baby coming out of a woman AT THE TIME YOU ASK, never assume she’s pregnant. And someone working at a store where they sell pregnancy tests, or ass-rot cream, or special heat-up-with-friction lubricant, or whatever, should fucking well know that you just ring in the sale, and keep your comments to yourself.


SJW August 29, 2006 at 5:53 pm

Well said, Deltus! And I’d like to add, from my observations, that people are generally poorly socialized and ask dumb questions purely out of a desire to hear the sound of their own voice. And because it looks good to be concerned about someone else’s situation, although really, it’s all superficial because they’re really just after the sound of their own voice sounding concerned.

Pamela August 29, 2006 at 9:33 pm

Howsbout this for a retort?

“That’s for me to know, and you to wanna”.

Works on a whole range of stupid & personal questions.

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