I don’t know if I’m ready for this type of commitment

by statia on August 3, 2006

We had to fly out to Seattle to attend Grandma’s funeral yesterday. I hit the bookstore a couple of days ago to pick up a few books regarding this whole “it” situation. It made me sweat being in that section of the store. It’s not exactly obvious that we have an “it” on board to the rest of the world and there’s that whole superstitious thing I have going on. But at this point, if I wait any longer, I’ll be buying these books way later than I probably should be.

The thought that I actually went out and bought books makes me hyperventilate. I mean, what’s next, faggy tweener maternity clothes with the elastic waist bands?

So I picked up more of the humourous pregnancy books, like Pregnancy Sucks and Belly Laughs, the latter of which I breezed through in an hour or two. I also picked up Your Pregnancy, Week by Week and come ON people. Some of this stuff makes me laugh. I mean, are they serious? One of the no-no’s of pregnancy was no huffing of solvents or cleaning products. I mean, are they for real? Because I’m guessing if you’re some sort of drug addict, and you’re huffing turpentine for fun, chances are you’re not one of the people buying this book. If not, I would imagine you already know this. Most of this wasn’t stuff I didn’t already know. What I would like is a book out there that warns us of the trickle pee. Not only do I have to piss with wild abandon, but I have lost my ability to keep a current strong stream. It’s intermittent trickle pee. Does the embryo/fetus stick its finger in your urethra? Because I’m not buying increased blood flow.

{ 16 comments }

Lori August 3, 2006 at 4:08 pm

Ah, trickle pee. My current fave. I don’t that one gets much better by the way.
And don’t knock the elastic waistband pants – they are pure bliss. Now the bows and frills I could do without. That and the faux camoflauge print.

geeky August 3, 2006 at 4:10 pm

bewaaaaaaaaaare the elastic waist pants.

Dee Dee August 3, 2006 at 4:23 pm

A Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnacy by Vicki Iovine is a pretty realistic book.

Krista August 3, 2006 at 4:50 pm

hilarious…. this is a very hilarious post. My “it” has never made it this far so the bit about the trickle pee had me crossing my legs and thanking my bladder control.

Stephanie August 3, 2006 at 6:55 pm

you pee issues are just beginning.

Good for you for buying some books.

girl August 3, 2006 at 7:13 pm

Hell, I have trickle pee, too. Have I been pregnant for 5 years?

Jennifer August 3, 2006 at 9:08 pm

Heh. There’s a trick to peeing when you’re pregnant. It involves leaning WAY over… And sometimes rocking.

YOU MAY LAUGH AT THIS, but it gets you out of the bathroom in a reasonable amount of time.

gutterfly August 4, 2006 at 1:15 am

You laugh now about the “no huffing” thing but you have to remember that pregnancy makes you crazy.With my son I never craved one edible thing.I couldn’t get enough of the smell of bug spray and grass.Two things I normally can’t stand to smell.I also craved dirt and the smell of gas.
I was smart enough not to huff anything but the craving was strong enough that I can understand the warning. Some old wives tale says if you crave inedible things you’re having a boy.
I gained 80 lbs with my daughter and 9lbs with my son.I think this particular wives tale is proven fact.

Chris August 4, 2006 at 5:20 am

I know nothing about your peeing symptoms but the books, yes, the books speak to commitment!

robyn August 4, 2006 at 7:27 am

Give yourself about 3 more weeks and the next baby- doubling growth spurt – then try to mock the elastic pants. *sets stopwatch*

Jenaside August 4, 2006 at 10:25 am

What you really want in maternity jeans are the low-riding ones with the one inch elastic band that goes all the way around. Those will work for the first six months. After that, you need the whole big belly pouch-looking thing. It keeps your pants up for you in the last three months. Oh, and then you’ll go back to wearing the inch-wide elastic jeans after you have the baby for a month or maybe longer depending on your genetics and how much you gain and blah blah blah.

As far as the “real information”? I never found it in books. I found it from other pregnant ladies. And wow, is there a lot of information out there that the books just don’t cover. Babycenter.com is pretty good about info too.

Beth August 4, 2006 at 5:55 pm

Trickele pee – so that’s the technical term for my inability to pee in that damn cup at the drs office. Duly noted.

I agree, the authors of those books weren’t real clear on their audience.

Pamela August 4, 2006 at 6:03 pm

OLD SCHOOL SAT. NIGHT LIVE STYLED COMMENT:

Tunics with cigarette shaped knit skirts that are supposed to come to the waist, but you pull them below the waist, giving you more length, resting on hip bones, below the baby bulge. You can manoevre very chic-ly around in this sort of gettup.

But the issue is peeing in a stream …

Ohhhhh…

That’s very different, never mind…

linda August 4, 2006 at 8:55 pm

Dear girl, I think that you’re seeing the beginning of a world of pee changes in store for you.

And that comment about the embryo and it’s finger in your urethra gave me the willies. Stop it already.

isabel August 5, 2006 at 5:10 am

Lean forward a little when you pee. Works for me, I’m 8w4d after IVF.

PaintingChef August 9, 2006 at 11:12 am

Belly Laughs had me ROLLING!!

And the Girlfriend’s Guide IS a good one too!

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