Getting the last laugh.

by statia on August 21, 2006

There are some people I know that don’t take off for their birthday, which personally, I think is a crime, because I get up between 5 and 5:30AM for work, there is no fucking way in hell that I’m getting up that early to go into work on a day where we’re all celebrating the birth of me. And mainly it’s not really because I think we should all be celebrating me because if you’ve been reading here any length of time, you’ll know that I HATE my birthday and that I will go out of my way to pretend that the day doesn’t exist because it usually ends up shitty. And maybe that’s a self fulilling prophecy, but I didn’t start it, so there. But really, why get up early to go to work when you can take a vacation day?

We went into the city today where we hit up the Lush store, because a woman can never have too much lush. Much to my surprise they stopped making the turbo bubble bar which is really disappointing because I loved it so much and when I told the woman that worked there that it was better than any bubble bar because it made so many more bubbles she looked at me as if I had 47 heads and pointed me to something with far too much glitter and all I could think of was getting that glitter in my ass crack and, yeah, no. I really don’t want glitter all up in there. We also hit up Sephora because no birthday is complete without a trip to Sephora.

Food is also starting to not sound so disgusting anymore and “it” decided that it was time for lunch and that we wanted Dim Sum. And not only did we want Dim Sum, but for the love of all that is holy, we wanted dim sum RIGHT NOW and the hypoglycemic food cranky meter dipped down to tantrum levels right there on the streets of China Town where there was not a dim sum restaurant to be found. Anywhere. Go figure. So we hail this cab, and he takes us to a dim sum restaurant where I pack in the food like there’s no tomorrow and as my blood sugar creeps back up to normal levels, I sssslllllooooowllllly notice that we are the ONLY white people in this cafeteria sized restaurant. I never felt so white in all of my life and had I not been so stupid hungry I probably would have heard the record scratch as we walked in. I’m guessing that the cabbie was getting the last laugh as he pulled away from the curb, sending us into a restaurant where I’m positive that people were pointing and staring. Whatever, it was dim sum.

I also got a new camcorder. I figured that if this thing lives and actually lives long enough to come shooting out of my vagina, we’re going to want to record its existence, mainly for blackmail during those times when its being extremely difficult. Like when its getting ready for its first date and we’re being total losers and embarrassing the shit out of them. Because that’s how we roll.

{ 20 comments }

ellessu August 21, 2006 at 5:01 pm

happy happy birthday!

Chris August 21, 2006 at 6:09 pm

Happy birthday, again! I hope you had a wonderful day.

We’re starting the embarassing video collection too…so we can show it to potential suitors in, oh, 40 years along with the log of poop times the hospital made us keep.

skits August 21, 2006 at 6:26 pm

whee! Happy Birthday, lady. *smooches you*

isabel August 21, 2006 at 7:35 pm

Go white girl! Own it!

And happy b-day!

Amy August 21, 2006 at 8:04 pm

Happy Birthday!!

geeky August 21, 2006 at 8:16 pm

sounds like you had a great birthday!

coloratura August 21, 2006 at 8:40 pm

happy frickin birthday. sounds like you did it up right.

i think ‘it’ is… aallliiiiivvvveee.

take care yoself, sweetie.

M@ August 21, 2006 at 9:07 pm

Happy birthday to us!!!!!!! I know you don’t like it, but it can’t all be bad, I mean we both share the same birth date with Alicia Witt. :)

Lisa August 21, 2006 at 9:16 pm

Happy birthday! :

donna August 22, 2006 at 5:54 am

Sounds like a great day! See, this one didn’t turn out shitty. Maybe your birthdays are on an upswing.

stephanie August 22, 2006 at 7:27 am

yum, dim sum…..happy birthday!

OK, we really need to come up with a nickname for “it”. want it to rhyme? How about “bit” as in little bit? or is that too Brittney?

Vanessa August 22, 2006 at 8:04 am

If you call it Little Bit I’m coming after you with a whipped cream gun. And a clown. And some fish taco porn.

mac August 22, 2006 at 8:04 am

Please tell me there will be no videotaped footage of your hooha during the birth. You’ll get me all drunk and make me watch it just so you can laugh at me when I get all freaked out.

Hope your birthday was delightful!!

Lisa August 22, 2006 at 11:05 am

I hope you had a very happy birthday!! :D

girl August 22, 2006 at 11:11 am

So what did you get at Lush and Sephora? I need something to drool over.

I don’t know how you feel about Lemonade, but Philosophy’s new Lemonade hand wash is THE BEST SHIT EVER. I want to wash my hands all the damn time b/c I love it so much. Highly recommended.

Faith August 22, 2006 at 11:27 am

Hmm…sparkly bubbly soap bar – for those moments when you moon people and you want them to go, “HEY! Heeeyyy…nice sparkly crack you got there!”

We videotaped my Twin’s first daughter’s birth. Or, rather, we videotaped the 15 hours of labor prior to the birth of her first daughter, staying away from catching any hoo-ha shots and gross thingies in the process of course. We were delirious while waiting for her to give birth to that child, and it shows on the tape. After 31 hours of labor (we only caught a few of them on tape, of course…), they finally thought that they should do a c-section instead. Yeah, ya think? Sometimes, hospitals can be stupid.

robyn August 22, 2006 at 12:24 pm

Your doc might enjoy sparkly ass-crack during all those hoo-ha exams. Jus’ sayin’…

Glad you finally had a decent birthday (and weren’t stuck in a crappy faux-bowling alley this year)!

Donna August 23, 2006 at 9:57 am

Hey, maybe you are having a Chinese baby! Well, it does love dim sum and everything.

just another jenny August 24, 2006 at 7:01 am

Happy belated birthday. Oh god I love Donna’s comment.

thalia August 24, 2006 at 7:45 am

Happy belated bday my sweet and many congrats on the fab scan. Long may george continue to grow.

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