You can’t stop Debbie Downer

by statia on July 20, 2006

Man, you have a little conservative cautiousness and you get shit for it. My husband has been walking around all night going wahhh wahhh wwwwwwwwwwaaahhhhhhhh.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect when we went in for the ultrasound today, but there it was, clear as day, a tiny heartbeat. It was surreal and scary at the same time. Am I excited? Sure, but it’s still so early, and we’re not out of the woods yet. I realize this. I know I should enjoy the now and I’m trying, believe me, but right now, I need to have my coping mechanism. We all need that. The fact that there’s an actual life inside of me is totally amazing. And I totally love and appreciate all of you for checking in and caring. It means a lot to me. How about until I start to breathe just a little bit easier, you can all do a little of the breathing for me? Just a little ventilator action.

Dr. Pompy and my favorite nurse both gave me a hug, which was completely weird because I didn’t have any pants on. I really can’t say enough good things about the practice. It’s so much different than Dr. Moustache’s practice. It’s beyond night and day. I have to believe that the relaxed attitude that Dr. Pompy’s staff had really had a whole lot to do with it. I didn’t have to even think about IVIg or immunology treatments. I don’t want to say that because I relaxed it happened, because that thought just makes me want to punch myself in the face, but honestly, I just didn’t get so caught up in the stress of fertility for once. I kind of just kept the “eh” mentality. It’s just something to wonder about.

{ 27 comments }

Jonathan July 20, 2006 at 9:54 pm

Amazing, just amazing. I’m thrilled for you!

robyn July 20, 2006 at 10:10 pm

I wish you could see how big we’re smiling for you over here. Even our moms are beside-themselves excited!

Mona July 21, 2006 at 2:36 am

I’m soooo happy for u both :)

Robber Barren July 21, 2006 at 3:57 am

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Isn’t that heartbeat amazing?

I totally understand the happy-but-feaked-out feeling. I spent the nineteen days (give or take a few hours) between the first beta and the first ultrasound worried that there wouldn’t be a heartbeat, but trying to reassure myself that once we saw it, I’d feel better. NO WAY IN HELL. I was even more of a mess after that ultrasound, because it seemed so much more real to see a picture, and I thought it would feel like even more of a loss if the next time we went, nothing was blinking and nothing had grown.

All that said though…seeing a heartbeat is a rerally, really big milestone. The stats really are in your favor now. Yes, I know, we were all on the wrong side of the stats to begin with, being infertile, and some amazing women keep ending up on the wrong side, but try to focus on the fact that, right now, you have a better chance of succeeding than…the other thing.

Breathing for you. Shall I eat for you as well? It sounds like your menus are better than mine. (Though you’ll be relieved to hear that I’m finally off of the radioactive mac & cheese.)

Steff July 21, 2006 at 5:02 am

I know nothing but what you have taught me about IVF, but it seems as though Dr Moustach drowned you with facts while Dr Pompy is actually letting you experience the wonder of this little miracle!

stephanie July 21, 2006 at 7:05 am

HUGE step Statia! wonderful, wonderful!

I asked my therapist about stress and fertility/miscarriges. She said that studies have shown that women in war torn areas have higher rates of MC. Makes sense, but that seems a bit of an extreme comparison to the stress of conceiving and carrying. Still, I guess it can’t be discounted.

Breath!

Mollywogger July 21, 2006 at 7:25 am

HURRAH!

Ms. Pants July 21, 2006 at 7:33 am

I love your pantsless hugs. BAHWHAHAHA!

And if you don’t mind, I’m gonna breathe through gladware cos you can’t. I have to be *that* kind of auntie, doncha know.

But don’t worry, I won’t be shotgunning your kiddo hits or anything. Just taking it for weekly beatings at Target in the wooden utensil aisle.

Erin July 21, 2006 at 7:38 am

I didn’t breathe until my 2nd trimester. It’s ok. Everyone will do the breathing for you for now. So excited for you and your bean!

amy t. July 21, 2006 at 7:46 am

If you’re gonna keep an “eh” mentality, perhaps you should keep an “Eh Eh EHHHHHHHHHH!” mentality, like Anne from your absolute favorite show!

Ms. Pants July 21, 2006 at 8:22 am

Get that woman a ficus tree!!

Jenny July 21, 2006 at 8:48 am

Congrats on seeing a strong perfect heart beat. I am glad you found a clinic worthy of seeing you without your pants on.

deb July 21, 2006 at 12:15 pm

Great news. I’m relieved for you and sending lots of prayers.

could someone help me out and tell me (you can email me if you want to be private) who dr. pompy is. I would really really appreciate it. He sounds just wonderful and I think I need him.

thanks.
deb
debora_michaels@yahoo.com

Zuly July 21, 2006 at 1:07 pm

Just think — you have 8 more months of us being supportive!

tracey July 21, 2006 at 3:00 pm

Isn’t it amazing, that little faster than heck heart beat ? I’m so happy for you, Statia.

Tracey

Helga July 21, 2006 at 7:12 pm

Oh…a big PHEW…This is such wonderful news!!!

Manuela July 21, 2006 at 8:37 pm

Yep. I hear you loud and clear. We are definitely feeling the exact same way.

But… you did catch my attention with that statistic in your previous post… 95-97%?? Is that the stat once you’ve seen a heartbeat??

And… so are you and I also sharing… you know… that projected day when this thing might happen if we both haven’t managed to kill them before then??

That might be too black for your readers, no? Ah, well. Tough shit. I’m writing to you not them.

Mary Scarlet July 22, 2006 at 8:03 am

Fuckin A

waiting line July 22, 2006 at 4:36 pm

doing back flips for ya, and some taking some breathes too!!

I will definitely try the “eh” mentality in my upcoming cycle. :-)

Kathy July 22, 2006 at 5:34 pm

It was the stickas.

eeeeeeeeeeee.

Camille July 22, 2006 at 9:04 pm

:) I’m very happy that things are going so well for you.

Tim July 22, 2006 at 11:56 pm

I’ve been quietly following your progress to this point, not wanting to say anything that might accidentally hurt you. But I just have to shout “Congratulations!!!” now.

My wife and I went through a similar experience 4 to 5 years ago. Our first doctor absolutely sucked. For some reason, our insurance coverage changed and sent us to a different doctor. The first IVF resulted in a miscarriage, but the second one gave us our now 3-year old twin girls.

We are so lucky, and I pray that now you will be too. And I also believe that the right doctor can work miracles.

Beth July 23, 2006 at 5:39 am

Excellent news. Now, lets talk about pantless hugs. I continue to be freaked out by why my RE couldn’t just wait until I came out of the exam room to share said hug. Oh well, I guess its a sign they are as happy for us as we are. So glad you left Dr. Moustache in the dust.

millie July 24, 2006 at 9:37 am

A heartbeat!!! I’m so thrilled to hear that. Happy to do some of the breathing but it’s so frickin’ hot here.

Yay!!!

Linda July 24, 2006 at 10:14 am

That is so funny about the pantless hug. LOL!

So if I switch to Dr. Pompy I might get a pantsless hug, too? I think J might be a trifle jealous. ;-)

missy July 24, 2006 at 6:56 pm

Congratulations on the heartbeat, its such a huge step, and so amazing to see! I’m glad you have found a practice where they make it a point to listen to, and take care of thier patients!

jen July 26, 2006 at 11:23 am

dude.

saying i’m HAPPY as shit for you guys doesn’t even come close to the way i feel – i wish i could be there to give you both a big ol’ (and i’ll even take pantless!) hug!

xo

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