How to make your husband think you should be institutionalized

by statia on July 29, 2006

So that whole idea that I had about weaning off my head candies? The one where I said “self, today is the day you stop taking your Effexor. You’ve been feeling great and you’ve done the weaning the proper way. You’re A-OK.” *gives self the thumbs up*

That?

That was the STUPIDEST idea I’ve ever had. Even stupider than the time I dyed my hair black cherry and ended up dying it NAVY blue instead. Stupider than moving into an apartment with no dishwasher. Yes, there is a stupider than that and this was it.

First off, there’s the fact that it completely fucked with my pregnancy symptoms which, people, when you’re pregnant after going through years and YEARS of infertility treatments, no matter how much you rationalize with yourself that symptoms waxing and waning are normal, there’s no talking yourself out of it. No matter how much you try. You live and die by those symptoms. No matter how much we hate the sore boobs, and the nausea and the exhaustion, we secretly love it because it helps us feel better. The DBT’s (in my case Dead Baby Thoughts) were through the roof.

Second, my German checked out so fast that her hat was still spinning in the air. I cried looking at pictures of celebrity weddings. I laughed at Anchorman and I fucking hate that movie. It’s the stupiest movie on earth, yet I was laughing maniacally. I cried watching Scrubs. SCRUBS!!!! For fucks sake. I cried because I got candy in the mail. The laughing/crying at the same time was surreal. I’d blame it on hormones, but I don’t think I’ve cried once since finding out about “it.” For the record, this is not because I don’t think that crying is cool. I just don’t cry. I’ve never been a big crier. It was so bad that I was sure that my “gestation buddy” was going to punch me in the face. Hell, I wanted to punch myself in the face, but then I probably would have cried and then laughed hysterically.

I couldn’t handle it. I had to take the “candies”. And now I feel a hell of a lot better. And by a hell of a lot better, I mean, I feel sick and tired and boobalicious and it makes me happy. So happy that I might cry.

And tonight? Tonight I’m going to try to top the stupid by possibly trying a “Philly Cheesesteak”. Which sounds so foul right now, but I figure the stupidest thing of 2006 needs to be topped. I’ll let you know how that goes. I’m skeptical, but you all know the standards I have for my cheesesteaks. As it should be.

{ 16 comments }

skits July 29, 2006 at 4:23 pm

I love lamp. I LOVE LAMP!!

The Meeeester July 29, 2006 at 4:32 pm

LOOOOOUD NOISES!!!!

geeky July 29, 2006 at 4:40 pm

DON’T DO IT! PUT DOWN THE “CHEESESTEAK”.

Tracy July 29, 2006 at 5:42 pm

Ok, so – is the reason for trying to go off the Effexor because you have to for the pregnancy, or can you stay on it and both of you be fine? Cuz, you know, if you don’t HAVE to go off it…

Donna July 29, 2006 at 6:36 pm

I’m on the happy pills too, and I asked every doctor on the planet if I could stay on them if I ever (hardy har har) got pregnant, and they all said yes. Did your doc ask you to do this or was this your idea? Sorry if that sounded snarky! I agree with Tracy, you gotta weigh the good and the bad and all that crap. You are probably going to be disappointed by the cheesesteak, but I know you can’t pass up cheese if its within 5 miles of your house. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Manuela July 29, 2006 at 6:37 pm

Thank GAWD you took the freaking pill… I was close to getting on a plane and stuffing it down your throat.

hrmph.

Lisa July 29, 2006 at 7:25 pm

Yeah, I was thinking what Tracy was thinking… Can you stay on it safely?

girl July 30, 2006 at 7:30 pm

I don’t even want to think about being completely off of my Adderall if/when we decide to get pregnant. it will not be pretty ya’ll.

waiting line July 30, 2006 at 7:41 pm

yeah, do you HAVE to stop? how quickly should side effects subside?

overall, it sounds like you’re holding your own (and doing well) – even with a full plate!!

congrats on reaching the 7+ week mark!

thalia July 31, 2006 at 1:59 am

Intrigued to hear how the cheesesteak measures up. NOt an easy thing to do right…

Sophie July 31, 2006 at 7:10 am

I totally know why you went off. At least I am pretty sure. You had one of “those” moments where you thought for once, that “Hell I don’t need these anymore – I am feeling fandamtastic.” Then you go off them, and end up crying hysterically cos it is not the right shade of pink you picked to paint your toes. Not to mention when you husband tip-toes through the door to listen carefully hoping to get a sign of what to expect. Only for you to freak out and ask them what THEIR problem is. ‘Tis lovely.

Candies are good! :)

I think you are doing great with everything!

Kellie July 31, 2006 at 7:14 am

I’ve cried at Scrubs. Not often, but hey, hormones do that to ya.

As far as the Cheesesteaks, Jims is the best! and wit Whiz!

Yummy, now I have a craving that can’t be satisfied in Minnesota.

I’m glad you’re feeling those symptoms again.

amy t. July 31, 2006 at 7:46 am

Heh. You gave the candies to the babies. I love you.

stephanie July 31, 2006 at 8:14 am

Sounds like it is better for your gestation for you to be on the candies than off.

I think I missed the posts about cheesesteak standards. Best of luck with the experiemnt.

coloratura July 31, 2006 at 12:35 pm

Wishing you nausea, big fat sore boobs, stretch marks, frightening amounts of ass expansion, rollercoaster emotions, pickles and ice cream and all that good stuff! And I so know what you mean about secretly loving, yes, reveling in your symptoms. “I feel so sick. That is so cool.” I know. I so know.

Keep up the good work!

Manuela July 31, 2006 at 5:24 pm

Just one more sleep!

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