Half day today Bob?

by statia on May 4, 2006

So I was talking to a friend of mine today online. She was telling me a story that she overheard her boyfriend’s friend telling her. Albeit it was in another language, but since she has “spousal privilege” she demanded to know what his friend had told him.

He left work early specifically to go home and jerk off. And I find this extremely odd.

Going home to have a quickie with your husband or boyfriend, etc or taking the day off to stay home and have sex all day, that doesn’t seem really odd. But leaving work just to jerk off? Are you that stressed and/or horny that you can’t wait until the end of the day?

I know I can’t be the only one who finds this weird.


Ben May 4, 2006 at 4:18 pm

Yeah, doesn’t his work have a bathroom?

Beth May 4, 2006 at 4:20 pm

I hate to admit it, but Ben took my comment.

Beth May 4, 2006 at 4:23 pm

What are you talking about, I do it all the time….

uh, not.

Maybe he has a small man complex?

Merrin May 4, 2006 at 5:20 pm

Maybe he needs “atmosphere”. And a big bottle of lube. Or viagra. Or maybe the viagra kicked in a little too soon. On second thought, he probably left early to see his slutty mistress, and the whole “jerking off” thing was a half-truth.

Yep. It’s weird.

DD May 4, 2006 at 7:15 pm

Maybe he has sexual narcolepsy (sp) and doesn’t want to be found passed out in the employee bathroom with his pants around his ankles.

coloratura May 4, 2006 at 7:29 pm

Better have been some righteous porn, that’s all I have to say…

Tiffanni May 4, 2006 at 8:53 pm

Ummm. No. That IS weird.

Kate May 4, 2006 at 9:56 pm

Weird…VERY weird.

Helen May 4, 2006 at 10:56 pm

Ben got my back, too. That’s why they make bathrooms, buddy. Lock the door and ruffle the feathers, there’s no need to pull a sickie to do it.

What? Don’t look at me like I’m the only one who’s done this….

Chris May 5, 2006 at 4:59 am

Yeah, that’s odd. Of course, I also think its odd to hook yourself in the bathroom at work. I mean, who can’t just wait or go find a picture of Bea Arthur to calm yourself down or something?

Meira Voirdire May 5, 2006 at 5:53 am

I have to second Chris. Squick!

Darren May 5, 2006 at 6:47 am

Better that than going into the bathroom at work and getting caught doing it…

girl May 5, 2006 at 7:46 am

that’s why Pocket Rockets were invented, my dear. why even wait until you get home? ;-)

Kathy May 5, 2006 at 9:03 am

Nothing like splittin’ early for a little fist on clown action.

Ornery May 5, 2006 at 10:00 am

That is indeed weird. Here’s another weird story for you. I once knew a guy who worked in a medical lab and used to jerk off all the time in the bathroom. He’d always make sure to bring one of those little microscrope slides into the bathroom with him, so that after he came, he could wipe some of it onto the microscrope slide. Then he’d go over to his microscope and admire his sperm. Okay, perhaps if I had the proper equipment and I was a man, I, too, would be curious and try this out once. But this guy did it at least a dozen times. Talk about narcissistic.

wn May 5, 2006 at 11:16 am

Odd? YES
but do I know of other stories like this from ppl that I actually know?
Unfortunately, YES

I used to go to school with a guy, who ended up marrying someone in my field of work (that’s about all I can say about that)…who has masturbated 4-5 times/day – EVERY DAY. Apparently, he waits until she leaves….gives himself a little dingle…gets home first for lunch (dingle again)….and usually tries to arrive first after work…he “says” he can’t make it through the day otherwise….

the visuals…god, the visuals

Donna May 5, 2006 at 12:05 pm

Maybe the story works in its original language?

Ben May 5, 2006 at 5:45 pm

Don’t worry Helen. You aren’t the only one. Sometimes I just can’t wait until I get home too.

skits May 6, 2006 at 11:01 am

Definitely weird. But, also very funny. heh.

Linda May 6, 2006 at 12:44 pm

Maybe he’s really LOUD when he cums and he has to leave work so he doesn’t scare off his coworkers? :o )

Deltus May 10, 2006 at 2:23 pm

It’s a little odd, yeah, but to each his own.

What I find incomprehensible is that he was actually having a conversation about it. I have a number of friends and acquaintances, in an entire spectrum of closeness. Never, ever, ever has the topic of actual acts of masturbation come up in ANY conversation I’ve EVER had with any friend. Not once. You could have saved my life, twice, and we are the closest people in the world for over 20 years, I STILL would never have that conversation with you.

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