My fantasy world is all puppies, babies and unicorns (and Mariska Hargitay )

by statia on April 7, 2006

I went through the bitterness stage of things. I don’t think I’m fully out of it, but I’m starting to come around. Exacly a year ago this week, I was told that I was having a miscarriage. History kind of repeating itself in the bad way really isn’t my thing. Lottery? Sure. But I’m sick of the constant reminders that my uterus looks like this:

I still can’t wrap my head around “What the Fuck Happened Here, 2006™” I took Wednesday off to just let it all soak in. Yesterday, our systems at work were down, so I went home and buried myself in my Sims (ok, I lied, I’m not sick of the sims, but it’s all Millie’s fault for introducing me to decorgal.com.)

What’s worse is that every where I turn lately, it’s bad news for my infertile bitches. It’s disheartening and it makes me even more angry. Can’t we just get a fucking break? Please?

Not that I’ve ever been a religious person, but is it any wonder why most infertiles are athiest?

{ 21 comments }

geeky April 7, 2006 at 11:21 am

hahahaha you have a gnome up in your junk! i guess that explains a lot.

seriously though, i’m glad you can still hang on to your sense of humor through this.

Donna April 7, 2006 at 11:41 am

My lack of religion has saved me from having to figure out the questions about why God would be so cruel and nasty. I can’t believe you are already through the bitterness stage, I would be stuck there for a long while.

Lut C. April 7, 2006 at 12:41 pm

Angry! Angry! (Think Animal from the Muppets)

Lisa April 7, 2006 at 1:01 pm

Man, his hat looks a little uncomfortable.

It’s so hard to hear about people who want babies not having them (or not having them with a “normal” amount of effort). *hugs*

Love you, hon. Chocolate should be there soon. Unless your mailman steals it!

millie April 7, 2006 at 1:03 pm

Isn’t Decorgal just brillant? I heart her. She’s super nice, to boot.

Bitterness is my friend. Never let me down so far.

I think it’s gotta be super hard for anyone who belives in a higher power to accept the unfairness of it all. So many bad things happening to so many good people.

Ornery April 7, 2006 at 1:07 pm

That gnome’s physique is surprisingly similar to the progesterone suppositories I keep wedging into my vagina.

I truly hope we all catch a break, and soon. We sure as hell deserve it and then some.

Lori April 7, 2006 at 1:26 pm

A good friend of mine and his wife went through multiple miscarriages all the while holding tight to their faith. I keep asking him all sorts of questions as it just blows my mind.
I hope you get to catch your break soon – or at the very least that you can give the gnome the boot. Because that just looks uncomfortable.

Jenny April 7, 2006 at 3:35 pm

The state of my IF bitches is leaving me sad and angry. I wish this bullshit would end for us all.

I do love the picture though, even in the face pain you never lose that sharp wit!

robyn April 7, 2006 at 9:30 pm

*drive-by hugging*

thalia April 8, 2006 at 5:40 am

I can’t see the picture, and now I’m really jealous after all those comments saying how funny it is. Glad you’re holding it together my dear. This stuff just sucks.

Manuela April 8, 2006 at 1:14 pm

JUST got back… and while I’m still largely in lurk mode on most IF blogs right now… I HAVE to come out of the woodwork to talk to you…

Statia… if you are already moving out of the bitter stage… then I applaud you for being so much the better person than me. Honey… my heart is with you, as I’m sure you know… and if you want to launch into some uber bitchy infertile nastiness… stuff you might not even want to launch into on your blog… let me know… because I’m happy to enter the cone of silence if we can offer eachother a bit of a respite.

Much love, my friend. In a non-emotive, cold , German sort of way… of course.

Beth April 8, 2006 at 9:46 pm

Statia -
Is that the Travelocity gnome – I had a feeling that bastard was twisted just from the commercials. Your wit at this time astounds me – as always, you and yours are in my thoughts.

Linda April 8, 2006 at 11:59 pm

Jeez, is that gnome the “twizzler” that Coloratura had stuck in her cervix prior to her D&C? No wonder it hurt so bad! Glad to see you’ve got your humor intact despite how truly fucked this all is.

PaintingChef April 9, 2006 at 8:29 am

Fucking gnome.

Teresa April 9, 2006 at 6:44 pm

I think that you and your husband are two of the strongest people I ‘know’. Keeping you in my thoughts, and so, so sorry.

Lenni April 10, 2006 at 6:39 am

is “gnome in your junk” the offical medical diagnosis?

i’m glad you can still find ways to laugh. i can’t fathom how difficult this must be for you and your family. i hope that things will look up soon.

Stephanie April 10, 2006 at 9:15 am

I told my oncologist that when I have my hysterectomy I want them to save my uterus so I can stomp on it. She thought I was kidding….

Nicole April 10, 2006 at 9:38 am

That pic is PRICELESS. Of course, mine would have cobwebs in the ovaries too. With the gnome in the both of them holding a “room for let” sign. He needs to be served with an eviction notice. Or at least not wear the pointy hat. (((hug)))

Beth April 10, 2006 at 4:14 pm

Just dropping by to check in on you – you’ve been in my thoughts. I wish I could do something to make this better for you, but I know I can’t – so I am here for you if you need anything…you know, I am good for working up a right good indignation in a pinch, also a good collaborative bitcher, or even just to listen. You and the Meester take care of each other.

Demeter April 13, 2006 at 10:30 am

I thought the image was hillarious. A little bit of humour helps in this difficult times and you have plenty of it. Keep it up.

Deltus April 17, 2006 at 10:20 am

And now, thanks to the title, all I can think of again is Mariska Hargitay and Jill Hennessey getting it on.

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