Yes means no

by statia on March 24, 2006

My ovaries are apparently still rather pissed off at me, as are my kidneys and my bladder. They’ve decided to band together and cause me massive amounts of pain while I try to take advantage of the fact that I have off this week and can sleep in.

Either some jackass came in and punched me in the kidneys the other night, or my ovaries are kicking my kidneys from the inside because I can’t lay down without being in pain.

When one of your in cycle nurses calls and tells you that if the pain doesn’t get better with tylenol (TYLENOL? THE FUCK? Tylenol is like eating gum drops minus the sugary taste) to call back and they’ll prescribe something stronger, what they really mean is that they just want to string your pain laden ass along and tell you they’ll call you back to get the number to your pharmacy. But they don’t. They call you back and tell you to “buck up little camper, it’s not so bad, you can get through it with tylenol.” Shiiiiiiiit. Even advil isn’t working lady, and while you’re at it, why don’t you come over here so I can kick you repeatedly in the kidneys?

So like the Judy Garland that I am, I went rummaging through our medicine cabinet, in hopes of maybe finding one Darvocet. Anything to just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, if just for a moment. I didn’t find darvocet, but I found a nearly full bottle of vicodin with one month left on the expiration date. SCORE!!!

And everyone in the house is now happy again, because Statia is high and pain free.

9:30am transfer tomorrow. This ought to be good.


Julianna March 24, 2006 at 5:37 pm

Gimme a “V”! V!!!
Gimme a “I”! I!!!

okay, i won’t finish it but we’re cheering for you and yoohoo for the Vicdin!

Thinking of you tomorrow.

jen March 24, 2006 at 6:01 pm

Will be thinking of you tomorrow!!


Jen-Again March 24, 2006 at 6:05 pm

Also will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Lisa March 24, 2006 at 6:12 pm

Good luck tomorrow, hon! :)

Kathy March 24, 2006 at 6:18 pm

I have some percocet lying around if you need it. heh.

robyn March 24, 2006 at 7:11 pm

Mmmmm…Vicodin. And I have but a lowly 120 Rx of Darvocet. I am teh suck.

Good luck tomorrow! xoxoxoxo

geeky March 24, 2006 at 7:55 pm

best of luck!

Amy March 24, 2006 at 8:11 pm

Awww, I’m sorry you were in so much pain! I hope everything goes well tomorrow. How long before you will be able to find out anything?

Beth March 24, 2006 at 8:19 pm

Good Luck tomorrow! Why can’t nurse just be helpful and offer a buffet of prescription options? So sorry about the pain.

Anne March 24, 2006 at 8:21 pm

Okay, firstly, I can’t believe you had a whole bottle of Vicodin lying around, untaken. Maybe that’s the addict in me speaking, though.

Lots of good luck wishes for tomorrow!

millie March 24, 2006 at 10:37 pm

Thinking of you and wishing you a great transfer. I always have a secret stash of Vitamin V. Even if you’re in pain, you just won’t care. That’s the lovely part of it.

Smooth sailing, my friend.

Linda March 24, 2006 at 10:39 pm

I’m glad you found some relief from the pain. I’ve got a bunch of unfilled vicodin prescriptions laying about…I should fill at least one for sharing in times like this. I hope tomorrow goes off without a hitch…kick the nurses for me while you’re there…please?

Beth March 25, 2006 at 4:22 am

That was me who kicked you in the kidneys. Sorry, I was feeling a little bitchy yesterday. Good luck with the ol’ transferama and let me know if you want me to fedex you some percocet. At least, I think it is percocet, but frankly I was too stoned on whatever it is to be sure.

Lori March 25, 2006 at 9:52 am

They didn’t give you vicodin after your retrieval?? The bastards! I hope it helped – I know it got me through the day yesterday. And the night.
Good luck tomorrow!

Donna March 25, 2006 at 12:18 pm

By now you should be all done with the transfer. As of right now, Statia is knocked up. Woohoo!

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