Xavier Robert’s marketing has had a lasting effect on me (or 2dp3dt*).

by statia on March 27, 2006

I find myself constantly wondering what Doris, Nigel and Mona are up to this very second. Are they quietly reading Don Quixote? Are they on a drunken bender (in which case, it’s all Mona’s fault, she seemed like nothing but trouble from the beginning) and sitting at a late night ihop saying things like “no man, I love youuuuu, you’re like the besht shishter ever!!” The first couple of days seemed sort of surreal. It didn’t really sink in that I have embryos floating around in my body. That this is the last big thing before we wait for the results. And for the first time, I’m nervous. There’s a little over a week left and while I feel unusually zen like, I’m still thinking of the pee sticks that are calling my name ever so softly (as it’s way too early) right now from the master bathroom, and will undoubtedly be screaming my name by Monday night. I’m on the fence. Do I risk the facing the possible disappointment early so I don’t have to wait on pins and needles on Tuesday? The conundrum that every infertile faces during the inevitable wait.

I had a very symbolic dream the night before the transfer that has caused me to feverishly search ebay. I dreamt that I was in a small toy store where I came across a section of Cabbage Patch Kids. I found two cabbage patch kids that were almost identical. Both had long brown hair, one had blue eyes, and the other had brown eyes with freckles. I picked them up and contemplated buying them, but then at the last minute put them down because I was afraid that buying these dolls would jinx things. Truly bizarre.

Of course, I wouldn’t buy Cabbage Patch Kids that are out now. No, I need to represent my generation and go old school, bitches. And coincidentally, I did happen to find identical Cabbage Patch Kids. Just like in my dream, even dressed exactly the same. I won one of them, and I’m waiting for the other.

A sign perhaps?

*for those of you who don’t speak infertile, that’s 2 days past 3 day transfer)


Helen March 27, 2006 at 10:00 pm

If they’re reading Don Quixote we’re going to have to talk to them and teach them to ease up a bit. Going to the classes on Day 5 of existence is too much.

Helen March 27, 2006 at 10:01 pm

errr…that’s “class-ICS”.

robyn March 27, 2006 at 10:08 pm

I think half the Internet is on pins and needles for you right now. Snipe that son’b!tch and get yourself a set!

millie March 27, 2006 at 10:37 pm

Love the Cabbage Patch dream. Hope you complete your set.

Donna March 27, 2006 at 11:36 pm

I was really hoping for a kid with red hair, can you work on that?

Robber Barren March 28, 2006 at 6:14 am

Dude, I told you it’s all your fault that Mona’s messed up. You never should have given her that crackpipe her second day post-conception. Crackpipes are postnatal gifts ONLY.

And, really, anyone selling her old Cabbage Patch Kids on Ebay is unfit to be a mother, and should have her Xavier Roberts adoption certificate rescinded. Those babies definitely deserve a better home.

*runs off to hug her four Cabbage Patch Kids*

Stephanie March 28, 2006 at 6:35 am

drunk embryos! love it. but seriously, you should start disciplining those kids now…or things are going to get out of hand.

PaintingChef March 28, 2006 at 6:53 am

I’m thinking lots of good and knocked up thoughts for you right now!!! Can’t wait to see if it works!!!

Jenny March 28, 2006 at 7:31 am

Love the dreams! Wish I wasn’t at work, I want to hug April and the rest of my cabagge patch dolls. They really did define our childhoods, we all became adoptive mommy’s at 8yrs old.

amy t. March 28, 2006 at 7:45 am

I’m not a fan of kids, I’m not sure I want any at least. And you have my damn ovaries kicking into overdrive. I’ve never hoped for someone to bring a screaming pink wrinkly mess into the world as much as I am right now. Of course, after Helen’s transfer, I will then have to double my hope.

And the world as I know it has come to a screeching halt.

geeky March 28, 2006 at 8:05 am

i remember when i was little, my twin brother had to go to the hospital, i think to get his tonsils removed. they gave him a cabbage patch doll there, and i was so insanely jealous of it that my parents had to buy me one too.

oh, and it took me about a day and a half to remember that Xavier Roberts was the guy that “adpoted” cabbage patch kids.

Merrin March 28, 2006 at 8:27 am

Mona is such a strumpet!!!!!

Faith March 28, 2006 at 11:03 am

See, and that’s the problem with us multiples…if one of us gets something, the other one(s) need(s) it too.

And I hope that very soon, you are able to experience all the fun that dealing with multiples brings with it. Honestly, couldn’t be crossing more things for you and the Meeester!

coloratura March 28, 2006 at 11:35 am

Oh Statia… I so hope it will be good news soon for you… sending you a hug.

Beth March 28, 2006 at 12:59 pm

What is up with today’s CB Kids – they seem smaller, or is that just the perspective that comes with age?

I heard a rumor that Mona was going to be throwing a kegger tonight, even breaking out the beer bong possibly. Like mother, like daughter?

Thinking good things for you.

Ornery March 28, 2006 at 5:13 pm

Ah, drunken sisterly love. You can’t beat that.

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