Infertility, the new hotness.

by statia on February 11, 2006

I’d like to know if mercury is in retrograde or something. What planet brings out the assholes? Uranus?

I’ve been hearing of more and more people running into bitchy infertile women and quite frankly, while I would say that the majority of us are bitter about our reproductive status, I’ve never once encountered a fellow infertile that has had nothing but compassion for another infertile. So when I come across stories of one of us being a downright cunt, it royally chaps my fucking hyde.

Take for instance Julianna’s coworker “TBW”, who’s going through IVF for the third time, and this woman doesn’t have one single maternal bone in her body. The ignorance of this woman just makes me homicidal. This is an excerpt from Julianna’s most recent entry:

TBW said, “I am going to cycle again and I am on birth control pills now and I start shots and since my doctor has everyone on the same schedule and we all have to cycle together, THAT is my transfer date also! March 17th is about when I will be getting my embryos and my retrieval is scheduled for March 14th! I told the nurse today that I don’t have time for their appointments much less a baby….ha ha ha….she didn’t think I was funny and gave me a dirty look and I told Steve that I don’t want to have a baby at Christmas because he will be ruined forever having his birthday at Christmas and I just hope I don’t have twins or triplets because I will be taking them to the nearest grocery store with a sign that says: FREE TO A GOOD HOME! ha ha ha ha Won’t that be funny if we are pregnant at the same time! ha ha ha” note: TBW is 42 yrs old, never pregnant, 2 failed IVFs but doesn’t like babies. She thinks IVF is cute and trendy.

IVF IS TRENDY??? Does that mean infertility is the new up and coming cool thing, because in that case, I’ve been cool for YEARS now. Color me impressed. I mean, what the fuck? When was it COOL to be infertile? Seriously? Because I’ve spent the last 6 years in the closet. I always felt akward when talking about it, and the few people that did now treated me as if I had leprosy and it was like the endless pity party for Statia. Now all of a sudden, I’m like, SO POPULAR and EVERYONE WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND and I owe it all to my fucked up ovaries. THANK YOU FUCKED UP OVARIES!!! I’d gladly trade places with anyone who gets knocked up with ease. I’d be happy to not have to spend 15k to inject 5,926 needles in my body.


Let’s not forget about the woman that Ornery encountered yesterday while leaving her RE’s office. The 40-something that treated Ornery like a child (and this woman was dressed in a pink tracksuit, people. I’m even willing to bet that it said “Juicy” on the ass). She had the AUDACITY to ask Ornery how old she was (and believe me, she looks damn good for her age) and then make a snide comment stating that she was too young to be infertile.

Oh my fucking god!!!!! You mean, it’s a washed up old hag’s disease? Really? Well then I’ve been old since the age of 25. It was right after my doctor informed my highly anesthestitized self that my ovaries were full on BLOCKED. Look, you rude insensitive bitch, just because you’re a bitter old hag, doesn’t give you the right to make infertility your own little club. Why don’t you do your homework and then take a class in compassion and tact, though I’m guessing that it would be lost on you, because clearly, the fact that put forth the image that you have money, automatically gives you a free pass to the bitch club.

Seriously, how is it possible that I haven’t snapped yet?


Manuela February 11, 2006 at 6:56 pm

Oh, Statia love… I KNOW!!! I fucking FREAKED over on Ornery’s blog… my patience is SEVERELY compromised these days… I’m actually sort of hoping one of these C***s
crosses my path in the next few days so I can let off just a wee bit of steam.

Jenn February 12, 2006 at 5:27 am

OMG, I am SO COOL! And apparently old. Yes, IF can happen when you are older or even because you are older, but it fucking sucks when you are in your early/mid twenties too.

Zuly February 12, 2006 at 9:20 am

People suck. I’m impressed that you haven’t snapped yet, but I suspect t’s because you;re so damn strong. Then again, it gets kind of old being that strong for so long…. thinking good things for you, sweets

thalia February 12, 2006 at 10:49 am

i think the reason not to snap is that I always feel so much worse afterwards. It makes me feel in the wrong. Whereas when I keep my cool and just be as nice as possible, I feel very proud for having the moral high ground. But that’s me.

Prop February 12, 2006 at 12:48 pm

It pisses me off too. Here’s my take on it all:

Donna February 12, 2006 at 1:52 pm

I think you have snapped, and multiple times, but just not in public, or not in front of the person who caused it in the first place. For the record, I believe Mercury is currently retrograde. I say blame any snapping on the planets.

Stephanie February 12, 2006 at 2:35 pm

you mean that you have not snapped, b/c i so have….

and i am really glad to know that IF is in vogue….do you think that recurrent losses are as well? i hope so!

Julianna February 12, 2006 at 3:43 pm

Statia, can we come up with some plan to smash my bosses’ wife to bits without my getting fired?

Thinking of you on your IVF journey! :)

jen February 12, 2006 at 6:41 pm

So, IVF is the new black, eh? My friends with rampant endometriosis and cysts and DES-exposed mothers will be thrilled to hear that. I’m sure that will take the sting away.

Good grief.

And hi — I’ve been reading for a while, mainly because of those same friends. You and Julie and grrl have all helped me know what to say and when to shut the hell up.

Ornery February 13, 2006 at 10:19 pm

You fucking rock.

PaintingChef February 14, 2006 at 7:55 am

What? This shit is TRENDY now? Who knew? Oh yes please, I’ll gladly deal with these ridiculous punk ass ovaries and never knowing if I’m going to have another period or if I may never ever be able to keep a child inside of me for more than 3 months because yay! I am TRENDY! Can I remove one of my cyst-covered ovaries and carry it as a purse? Will that go with everything?


Ornery February 15, 2006 at 1:16 pm

Hey, where’d my post go? Whatever, I can repeat it since it was pretty short, something along the lines of: “You FUCKING rock.”

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