At the carwash

by statia on February 6, 2006

I have two more tests to complete before we’re “allowed” to proceed with IVF. One of them is a cervical culture and the other is the vagina carwash or, a saline sonogram. I’m totally not looking forward to the latter. I’ve got advil and candies in hand, because quite frankly, I might have the cleanest ute in all the land after today, but I’m not like one of those people who feels the need to wash out their insides on a regular basis. I’m a clean person, but high colonics isn’t my thing.

All of my blood tests came back. I’m getting a bit worn down already as I’m borderline positive for everything that I don’t want to be borderline positive for. MTHFR, NK cells, and APA. Just enough to make it annoying. Now, I like my doctor, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a business, and while he’s thorough, the whole thing smacks of “I like to get a new BMW every six months and all of you paranoid infertiles make it possible…. errr I mean, IVIG transfusions are very important.” We went in on Friday for a wanding and let him know that we didn’t want to do ICSI on the first try. After all, we managed to achieve a pregnancy after my ob had told us that I was ovulating on my blocked side. The swimmers they are, if nothing else, persistent. Dr. M. said that we didn’t have to take advantage of it if we didn’t want to, but if the prelim semen analysis came back with poor results, then they couldn’t share risk. (i.e. we can’t take advantage of the plan we’d like). Of course he doesn’t think that they’ll come back poor as every other test of his came back phenomonally. It’s me who’s the fucked up one.

But part of me is very distrusting of him. I think it’s an RE thing in general. I feel like he’d tell us that it’s poor, just to get the extra $1800 out of us. And it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.

While talking to Manuela, Mr. Pink Line, Amber and Donna on Friday, we discussed the importance of being your own advocate when putting yourself in the hands of doctors. Having been through infertility, I read up on things. I educate myself. I’ve been extremely lucky to have great doctors since moving here. It’s about the only thing that I’ll sing the praises of about living here. My doctors have been top notch. All of them have been very caring, very frank, honest and most importantly, they treat me as an equal. Whether this is because of my more detailed knowledge, I don’t know, but one thing doctors aren’t, is perfect, and if you go in there thinking that they need to make all of your decisions and tell you what’s best for you, well, you’re going to be extremely disappointed. I’ve printed off all of my test results to give to my OB today, because she will be my primary care doctor, should we get pregnant. I value her opinion highly. If some of these borderlines aren’t a big deal, I’d like to hear it from her.

Because there’s always that “what if” paranoia that infertiles have, and I’ll be damned if any RE is going to get the best of that from me.

{ 2 comments }

Jenn February 6, 2006 at 1:35 pm

Out of the three REs I saw, I only felt like that about one of them, and I never went back for a second visit. I did feel like I had to be on top of things or they may not get done though. You do have to be your own best advocate, and that’s a damn shame.

steff February 6, 2006 at 7:43 pm

You are right on it, be your own advocate! You can “control” your path to success in subtle ways!

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