And we liked it

by statia on February 8, 2006

I can actually say, with all sincerity, that I’m glad I’m part of the “30-something” crowd.

This was sent to me by my seeeester in law and is dedicated to Ms. Pants, who will forever share my beliefs that kids today are pansies. GET YOURSELF A RUSTY POLE TO PLAY WITH. Dammit.

(I’ve added my own in italics)


When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…uphill BOTHways
…yadda, yadda, yadda. And I remember promising myself that when I grew
up, there was no way inhell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on
kids about how hardI had it and how easy they’ve got it! How much am I
spending to have kids? You can bet your ASS I’m going to let them know
how hard we had it growing up

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and
notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy!I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve
got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalog! and if you suck at math, like myself,
the dewey decimal system could fuck you up

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter . with
a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in
the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Man, remember the days of pen pals?

There were no MP3′s or Napsters!
You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store
and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it
off the radio and the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!

And talk of about hardship?
You couldn’t just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother
or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of “Hustler” at the 7-11!
Those were your options! or dig through your parents nightstand, that’s what I did

We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!

And we didn’t have fancy Caller, ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your
school, your Mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a
collections agent, you just didn’t know! You had to pick it up and
take your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
“Space Invaders” and”asteroids” and the graphics sucked ass! Your
guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiplelevels or screens, it was just one screen
forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder
and harderand faster and faster until you died! … Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat
sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were justscrewed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning.
Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons,
you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had
to use the stove or go build a frigging fire…imagine that! If wewanted popcorn,
we had to use that Stupid JiffyPop thing and shake itover the stove forever like
an idiot.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about!

You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled.

You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,

The 30+ Something crowd!

{ 10 comments }

Ms. Pants February 8, 2006 at 8:57 am

I have two words for you: Lawn Darts

Helen February 8, 2006 at 8:59 am

Yeah!

And we had PONG! And Underoos that gave us yeast infections! And we only had a damn sprinkler to run through and the old version of the Slip N Slide, which would rip off the skin on your body like a flesh eating virus!

So there!

felice February 8, 2006 at 9:08 am

haha.

i may still be under 30 (29- close enough!), but i can totally relate.

and i totally had like 50 pen pals.

Amy February 8, 2006 at 9:22 am

Funy! I’ve seen this before, but it’s still enjoyable to read. I recently had a talk with my 9 year old about the Cartoon Network thing. You should have seen how big his eyes got when I told him we had to wait all week to watch cartoons! He thought I was lying!

donna February 8, 2006 at 9:57 am

And don’t forget the VCRs that weighed about the same as your mom’s station wagon. And no matter what you did, they always had tracking problems so if you watched a tape, you’d go cross-eyed with all the rolling screens.

Faith February 8, 2006 at 11:25 am

Ohmygod…the waiting all week for cartoons. I’d forgotten about that! And they were on ridiculously early, too, right? Anyone remember The Land of the Lost? That was my favorite part of the weekend, I must say.

I also remember when it became a cool thing to go to the video rental store…where they had a total of about 50 videos for you to choose from. (My family lived in the mountains, though, so maybe we just had a crappy rental store…)

But I’d take a Sit n’ Spin and a Big Wheel any day over the crap kids get to play with these days. They don’t know what they’re missin’!

April February 8, 2006 at 12:40 pm

And PULL UP YOUR PANTS!

martha February 9, 2006 at 6:23 pm

I was just thinking the other day that there was a time when I didn’t know that @ was pronounced at (I thought it was about). Sigh… the good old days.

Cheeky Prof February 10, 2006 at 7:19 am

I want to print this out and give it to my college students.

Oh, wait, maybe I should just send it to their Blackberries.

statia February 10, 2006 at 3:16 pm

testing.

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