When the scales tip, we buy new ones.

by statia on January 6, 2006

I never used to keep a scale in the house. Because as a person with a former eating disorder, keeping a scale in the house is dangerous. Besides, I didn’t want to know what I really weighed anyway. I was ignorant and I was fucking blissful being that way. I would step on doctors scales backwards and everything. Because I remember the days of being completely and totally obsessed with the scales.

We bought a scale in August when I got back from my birthday celebration weighing a whopping 149 pounds. Just call me Miss Piggy kids. I wasn’t a happy camper. Every morning like clockwork it was, get up, stumble, brush teeth, pee, strip down, stand on scale. We both watched the numbers go down, and now I’m a respectively… ahem, a woman never tells. Let’s just say that I’m a good chunk lighter. THANK YOU EFFEXOR!! You not only helped the crazy voices in my head, but you made my metabolism go wheeeeeeeeeee.

This morning, I stepped on the scale a WHOLE 7 POUNDS HEAVIER and I screamed. And then I ran and bitched to the meester because what the fuck people? And he said he gained about 6-7 pounds too. Surely two people can’t gain that much weight overnight. Surely the scale is defective. Let’s all damn target and its defective merchandise. Die Target die!!! We even weighed the dog because this scale had to be broken!! We were convinced. Because people, I feel bloated, but I don’t LOOK like I gained 7-which-is-closer-to-ten-and-ten-is-definitely-noticable pounds. I was fully prepared to stage an anorexic sit in and NEVER EAT AGAIN forever and ever until I die. Believe me, I could last for awhile, I have enough junk in the trunk to keep me alive to a ripe old age.

So we went to Bed Bath and Beyond and stepped on every mother fucking scale in the place and then bought the one that said I was 96 pounds.

Ok, it told me the weight I was yesterday and I was quite happy with that.

Now about those 51 M&M’s…….

{ 10 comments }

Deltus January 6, 2006 at 10:00 pm

Scales are bad. I don’t like looking at them either. Mostly because I’m a fat tub of shit.

Bitter? Me? No, why do you ask…

thalia January 7, 2006 at 8:44 am

I used to think scales were evil and I didn’t have one in my house, but then I got really fat so now I do have one so that I can see just how fat I’m getting …

Hmm. Something wrong here. Glad you found the good scale.

girl January 7, 2006 at 4:41 pm

I don’t pay a hell of a lot of attention to scales. I’ve always been heavier than I look. I have a heavy frame, I guess. I just go buy whether or not I’m comfortable in my clothing. I could definitely stand to be more comfortable but I just don’t see myself being where I was back in college again.

suzie January 7, 2006 at 10:18 pm

i’m totally chanting like a drunk, stupid fratboy here, encouraging the unwise m&m behavior.

sta-TIA! sta-TIA! sta-TIA!

Jen-Again January 7, 2006 at 11:44 pm

hate the scales…HATE! I am in the process of trying to lose 45 pounds, and the scale is my enemy- some days my clothes are looser and the scale says heavier, go figure.

By the way, not being a stalker or anything, but I think I had my second Statia and Meeester sighting tonight. I was at the San Jose Auto show and saw you and the Meeester walking around with very nice camera. I totally didn’t want to be crazy girl and squeal ‘STATIA’, but I did pound my fiance’s arm and point you out to him. And i think the meeester may have looked at me staring and thought I was a loony person. A loony person wearing a Sharks jersey no less.

First sighting was at Hillsdale Mall just before X-mas- at least I think it was the two of you. Unless I am hallucinating you everywhere.

amy t. January 8, 2006 at 9:27 am

That was such a psych out. I totally thought that link on the 51 M&M’s was going to be to a picture of you with that many M&M’s in your mouth.

Tease.

The Meeeester January 8, 2006 at 10:08 am

Jen-Again, were you the blonde who was looking at Statia taking a pic of the wooden Jeep sign (I think that was a Jeep sign, at least)? If not, then we have a stalker who kept following us around. ;P

Jen-Again January 8, 2006 at 1:44 pm

Nope- I spotted you guys out by the Porsche/Audi area. Although there may have been a jeep sign there…was too fascinated by the fact that I was seeing you guys IRL to really notice.

We were just leaving then to go to the Shraks game, so no real chance to stalk for any longer ;)

Jen-Again January 8, 2006 at 1:55 pm

Although I am blonde so that could have been me, hrrrmm. Next time i will have to say something, since I think we live about a mile from each other and chances are I will have another spotting sometime!

Donna January 8, 2006 at 4:23 pm

Now that I’m not going to the doctor every fucking week I don’t get weighed anymore. We have a scale but its safely confined under a pile of dog stuff in the bathroom closet.

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