Looks like a porn star, sounds like a dignified English man

by statia on January 11, 2006

Tonight the meester and I headed out to a seminar given by Dr. Miracleworker (hereforth known as Dr. M, because I’m lazy about typing it out). We were eager to meet the man who would be aiding us in our adventure of wanting children. Because there might come a time when the bathroom needs cleaning and I don’t feel like doing it or maybe I’ll want some bon bons. Isn’t that why people have children?

One of the women that I had met at cronefest has just started working with Dr. M. When I saw his picture, I commented to her that he has a porn stache. And now she can’t look at him the same way.

But upon meeting him, he had this totally diginified accent. He said things like laBORatree instead of laboratory. I bet he probably says “shedule.” I’m not even bothered by the porn stache anymore. He was just so genuine and nice.

He went over some of the scientifics of IVF, which I know most of, but it was still helpful to know. Most of it was statistical, and the meester learned about TESE (Testicular Extraction, for those of you who don’t know) tonight. I think I literally watched his balls creep far up into his taint as his face contorted into that face that men make when you discuss anything that could bring discomfort to their balls.

Let’s just say that the meester is VERY happy that he won’t be needing TESE.

I also liked that Dr. M. didn’t discriminate. Married, single, gay, it doesn’t matter. But if you’re a fat chain smoking bastard, he won’t treat you. Go figure. I guess it’s a waste of his time and your money and fucks his statistics up in the process. I can see that. But I found it highly amusing at how he went on about how low your chances are if you smoke.

It seems to work just fine for a lot of chain smoking alcoholics, but whatever.

Also? They had a cheese crudite set up for the patients/future patients attending the seminar. Hello? Does this man know the way to my heart or what?

He lured me in with free cheese. I think we found ourselves a doctor.

{ 13 comments }

jen January 11, 2006 at 9:35 pm

I bet he probably says “shedule.”

I HATE when people say it like that. lol.

I am glad that it went well!

April January 12, 2006 at 7:47 am

Wonderful! I was wondering how it went.

Porn stache. Heh heh heh.

Lisa January 12, 2006 at 8:00 am

Good luck to both of you!

mac January 12, 2006 at 9:12 am

Come for the fun fertility treatments, stay for the cheese! Dude, that’s a sure sign that you found the right doctor to knock you up.

Ms Prufrock January 12, 2006 at 9:58 am

There is a lecturer where I work that has total 70s porn hair. I’ve mentioned it to my co-workers, but they pretend to have no idea what that means.

For the record, WHYBAML says “sex-soo-ule”. Or something. Me not so good with phonetics.

Uh, and yay cheese!

thalia January 12, 2006 at 10:55 am

What a lovely introduction to a new doctor. I hope the free cheese continues!

Jen January 12, 2006 at 1:23 pm

Nothing says IVF like porn stache and cheese!

I’m so glad you’ve found an awesome doctor.

Manuela January 12, 2006 at 3:32 pm

EXcellent news. I typically find that posh foreign accents make for calmed nerves when dealing with Doctors.

EVERY single Doctor I deal with at my clinic has a posh sounding accent… French, Castillian Spanish, and upper-crust Aussies… ALL of them.
I bet they learned that in medical school… they’re probably all from Arkansas.

Julianna January 12, 2006 at 4:56 pm

YIPPPEEEE!!! yeah for finding a doctor you adore!

So hoping for you, Statia.

amy t. January 13, 2006 at 7:39 am

shedule. I love you for that.

Deltus January 13, 2006 at 8:27 am

Testicular Extraction. I had the same reaction when I read that as when I read about catheters in the penis. *falls into fetal position*

Amyesq January 13, 2006 at 9:25 am

Whohoo! Any doctor who has free cheese is a doctor after my own heart. And fat ass.

Camille January 13, 2006 at 6:32 pm

I love the cheese part of this story. It made me laugh out loud the moment I read it!

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