Is there a doctor in the house?

by statia on January 26, 2006

We got the brunt of our blood work back today. Let’s remind ourselves not to start googling your test results when they flag them as abnormal.

I have a low lymphocyte count and the meester has a low neutrophil percentage. The first thing I see when I google, is that people with AIDS have low lymphocyte levels. Nothing like shocking yourself, even when you KNOW you don’t have AIDS.

I love hypchondriac induced anxiety attacks.


LT January 26, 2006 at 8:13 pm

sheesh, statia! :(

Helen January 27, 2006 at 1:11 am

Put DOWN the medical encyclopedia. Put it down! Good.

Perhaps people with AIDS have low lymphocytes, but people who lived in a cozy 2 bed-2 bath outside of Chernobyl also have low lympocyte counts. So that’s another possibility out the window.

The good side is, it proves you are more susceptible to colds, infections, etc and thus must be cuddled and comforted more.

And for some reason, after reading the “neutrophil” thing, I just kept getting mental images of Jennifer Love Hewitt washing her face. After reading about it, though, I found it it gauards against “phagocytosis”, which has to be about the coolest name I’ve heard yet. And you can get a low neutrophil count after undergoing radiotherapy, so maybe he was a Chernobyl boy.

Am not trying to make light of it all. But no worries-your lovely pornstache doctor will take care of you both and make things raht.

Ms. Pants January 27, 2006 at 11:45 am

I had Ebola once.

robyn January 28, 2006 at 11:46 pm

Does this make you a lymphomaniac? Sorry. Had to do it.

Remember, you’re seeing the best of the best for a reason.

Livika January 29, 2006 at 1:40 am


Well, hopefully you will find out the test results soon.

When it comes to looking up health problems, I usually google them, and then go to like the 50th page, then I get to the minor-ish stuff :) Makes me feel better.

adoptee January 30, 2006 at 11:45 am

I have one word for you:


I worked with Dr. Coulam for 2 years. I highly suggest you talk with your infertility specialist about the possibilities of IVIg for your case, especially since your immunology is not up to par.

statia January 30, 2006 at 11:59 am

Adoptee, I’m very aware of IVIG and the fact that there’s no evidence that a $2,000 a pop treatmeant does anything against NK’s as getting your blood drawn to test your NK levels is only testing your blood. The function of NK’s in the uterine cavity is unknown.

adoptee January 30, 2006 at 12:09 pm

“The estimated success rate of 71% for women at very high risk for failure with a history of previous treatment failures suggested IVIg treatment was effective. ”

Guess Dr. Coulam and the infertility studies are wrong.

statia January 30, 2006 at 12:52 pm

No doctor is perfect, and that’s just one study. I’m not pulling the statistics out of my ass either. One could argue that the reason such studies by Dr. Coulam are done, is to create a hysteria among infertiles or women who suffer from recurrent miscarriage. I’d rather do my homework than be bombarded at all sides to create paranoia on my end, forcing me to get expensive treatments that may have no basis whatsoever.

Helen January 30, 2006 at 1:32 pm

I just LOVE it when people scour the web looking for evidence and then post anonymously! It’s even better when they leave a sarcastic and unwelcome closing message! That’s my FAVORITE!

So “adoptee” (read: way to pick a fucking insensitive username-even if you are adopted, maybe you should read other posts that Statis just posted about) why don’t you just email Statia so she can give herself a chance to just delete your emails at once, instead of preaching to the fucking masses about the glory that your Dr. Coulam is.

Every woman going into IVF does homework. A fucking lot of it. Now run along and take your stupid statistics with you.

The Meeeester January 30, 2006 at 1:36 pm

Troll is TKO’d by way of uber bitch slap by Helen. Heh. Go get ‘em girl. Loverly you.

Deltus February 1, 2006 at 1:29 pm

The first thing that popped into my head when I read your entry was Ahnold’s line in Kindergarten Cop, “Eets naht ah toomah!”

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