Sometimes life just needs a tivo remote.

by statia on December 13, 2005

The meester is off doing some sort of team holiday dinner type shit in the city tonight. For me this means that I have the house to myself. But not really, because I have two dogs that can tell time (“It’s 7PM bitch, where’s my dinner?”) and instead of being able to watch endless amounts of gross shows on Discovery Health and poop with the door open like I normally would when the meester is gone, I did the following:

Got peed on.
Stepped in dog shit. Twice.
Practically got down on my hands and knees to beg a very distractable dog to poop for the love of god already because it’s getting dark out, and I’ve already stepped in enough poop.
Followed said dog around the house to make sure that she didn’t poop behind the sofa.
Took the dog out again, lather rinse repeat on the begging.
Laundry, because remember, I was peed on.

The meester? He totally got the better end of the deal.

Also? We’re totally out of vodka. How the hell did I let this happen?


Rob December 13, 2005 at 9:24 pm

(slaps hand on forehead)… holy shit! You’re out of vodka???

Kathy December 14, 2005 at 6:28 am

*poops behind the sofa*

tj December 14, 2005 at 8:34 am

it’s like the opposite of a holiday miracle … holiday nightmare?

Ms. Pants December 14, 2005 at 8:41 am


Deltus December 14, 2005 at 1:21 pm

You were peed *ON*??? How the FUCK does that happen? Hey, I love my dog and all, but if he ever peed directly on me, I’d kick his ungrateful ass across the room.

Pamela December 14, 2005 at 2:42 pm

Yeah, I’m with Deltus on this one…

fran3000 December 14, 2005 at 2:46 pm

uhm, dude, being out of vodka is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE goddammit!!

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