A weekend full of baking cookies and discussing vaginas and uteruses.

by statia on December 9, 2005

I’ve mangaged to not eat any Christmas cookies thus far, but that’s because no one’s been making any Christmas cookies for me to eat. WHERE ARE MY COOKIES?? Meester and I are craving cookies. We’ve decided to jam some holiday spirit up our ass and bake cookies.

This is not good. My ass is protesting. My hips are calling the stores telling them to clear the shelves of all cookie making supplies.

I’ll be damned if I don’t get my cookies. But before we do that, we’re going to go to the mall tonight and laugh at the people that haven’t finished their Christmas shopping. I’m totally sadistic like that. Normally, pooper and I do a year shopping trip where we pretend we’re Christmas shopping but in reality we’re off getting drunk and making complete asses of ourselves. This year, we can’t do that.

On Sunday I’m meeting up with a group of infertile bloggers, like myself. Where we will talk about our busted up uteruses, ovaries, vaginas and our husbands sperm in great detail. Some of us will drink while others are in the two week wait, or are successfully and finally pregnant. For them, I will table dance, because if you can’t drink, you need to get your kicks somehow. We will be bitter and jealous of smug fertiles who just need lay on top of their husbands, and “whoops, it just happened accidentally.” I’m mainly looking forward to meeting all these fantastic women because they’ll understand. They’ve all been down the road that I’ve been, some of them farther. This coming Sunday would have been my due date. It’s hard for the people that have seen the fall out of that. A lot of them tend to ignore it if they don’t know what to say. In turn making me feel like maybe it’s me? But it’s not just me. I know that. It’s a lot of people. I can’t think of a better group of women to be surrounded by at a time like this.

{ 9 comments }

Deltus December 9, 2005 at 4:06 pm

Men might say publicly that they’re creeped out with their wives/girlfriends discussing their sperm, but secretly, I think men are proud of our sperm.

“Yeap, that pile of sperm in that microscope there? Those are mine. Lookit em swim!”

Meester's Seesterr December 9, 2005 at 6:54 pm

DUDE, Didn’t Mom make “my” cookies last weekend????? She was bragging about using her NEW oven. I think you need to call her…or have your hips call her. NUBS!

Meester's Seesterr December 9, 2005 at 6:54 pm

DUDE, Didn’t Mom make “my” cookies last weekend????? She was bragging about using her NEW oven. I think you need to call her…or have your hips call her. NUBS!

Meester's Seesterr December 9, 2005 at 6:54 pm

DUDE, Didn’t Mom make “my” cookies last weekend????? She was bragging about using her NEW oven. I think you need to call her…or have your hips call her. NUBS!

Rob December 10, 2005 at 7:18 am

Drinking and the discussion of busted up vaginas? Wow, now that’s an evening that I’d love to be a fly on the wall for… ;)

Wendy December 10, 2005 at 10:57 am

Man, I’ve got cookies coming out my ass. I know those are your favorite kind. Send me your mailing address and I’ll send you some. Seriously!

Amyesq December 10, 2005 at 7:19 pm

And I can’t wait to meet you! Perhaps I shall bring dollar bills to tip you with if you are dancing on the tables? Or are you more of a $5er?

LT December 11, 2005 at 9:23 am

I’m glad you are going today. Thinking abotu you lots.

thalia December 11, 2005 at 2:27 pm

Well I hope you have a wonderful time – You’re probably having it right now so I’m just looking forward to hearing all about it.

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