11 days of glorious vacation, and shouldn’t I be drunk by now?

by statia on December 22, 2005

Our vacation will go something like this. I’m hoping to get in lots of liquor time and chocolate because hello? My husband works with this man’s fiancee and I’m not even going to put the accent on the e in fiancee because I’m that freaking excited that this woman just haphazardly brings in chocolate to work. And this chocolate? I’m going out on a limb here when I say it’s almost better than Godiva and anyone who knows me, knows that a complete stranger can lure me into their car with Godiva truffles.

The truffles are ginormous, people. They’re practically the size of Miss M’s. head. Not to mention, they look like boobs. Any food that looks like tits is OK in my book. It sucks for all of you who don’t live in the bay area and can’t experience these chocolates. But oh well, more for me.

So far it’s totally rocking here. I figured Miss M to be more of a tequila girl but apparently, she likes rum too. Yes that’s the Meester holding her up, I mean look at how drunk she is? Let’s not even talk about G-man. He can’t hold his liquor at all. Since G-Man is all passed out, Miss M. decided to surf the internet but she’s so drunk, she can’t even type properly and quite frankly, I’m ashamed. I type very well when I’m drunk and this can’t be any daughter of mine. So instead she and the meester decided to safety dance, except the Meester isn’t drunk at all. He just thinks he is because he had like 18 beers on an empty stomach and “whoa there are like, two of you, man.” But alas, it was nonalcoholic beer.

Ok, so none of this is really true, except for the chocolate part. The drinking hasn’t started yet. We really came home, got in our pajamas and surfed the internet. No dogs were intoxicated during the typing of this post.


Lisa December 22, 2005 at 8:13 pm

Happy Merry, to all of you! :)

Tonya December 22, 2005 at 8:44 pm

Me likey the Bacardi Limon, especially with fresh lime over ice and tonic water. Mmmmmerry Christmas!

Rob December 22, 2005 at 10:07 pm

One drunken night a few years ago I spilled a bit of Captain Morgan on the kitchen floor and in my haze, decided not to clean it up. The cat drank it. For the next four hours, I shit you not, our walked sideways. Pets on alcohol is quite funny.

robyn December 22, 2005 at 10:31 pm

I thought of you tonight. Remember that mall where we bought N’s dresser way back when? They just put in a new Ulta across the street from it. I won’t let myself go in ’til next paycheck though. *whimper* I’ve never been in one before either… We have Panera down here, too. I’m just sayin’…

Orodemniades December 23, 2005 at 3:56 am

Godiva shmodiva. Personally, I don’t like Godiva. I’d rather have Green & Black’s Organic, or better yet, Tom and Sally’s…who just happen to be in my hometown.

Alas, they don’t do tit-live choccy. Nontheless…http://www.tomandsallys.com/home.php

amy t. December 23, 2005 at 6:24 am

I don’t know if Sophie likes rum, but she loves peppermint schnapps, hot damn, and bud light.

What kind of mom takes her dog to the bar for her first birthday and gets her drunk? A cool mom, that’s who.

payada December 23, 2005 at 6:59 am

received these choco candies as an office xmas gift (had never heard of them before) and they are yum-o-lish! i was the only one who thought they looked like nipples (of course, my mind is often always in the gutter). happy holidays!

April December 23, 2005 at 10:47 am

I for one will vouch for your mad typing skillz…

Kathy December 23, 2005 at 4:53 pm

If you wake up with your dress over your head…

geeky December 23, 2005 at 6:56 pm

dammit i wish i was getting chocolate for christmas! have you ever had Lindt truffles? i will take those over godiva any day. they literally melt in your mouth.

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