You’ve gotta see the baby.

by statia on November 6, 2005

For the last two weeks, the literature and information for our trip down freeway IVF has been sitting on our coffee table. Information from various places we’ve been considering, including Standford. Because having a Stanford baby is just so posh these days.

I wonder if our kid would get a free ride to Stanford if they were conceived in Stanford petri dishes?

This stuff has been staring us in the face. Neither of us is having an easy time wrapping our head around the fact that its come to this point. It’s almost as if we’re still in denial. If we just ignore it, it isn’t there. With every pregnancy announced this year, the deeper in despair I sunk. I felt like I couldn’t get a break. No one expects to have to deal with this when they imagine having children. I’ve been and on some level still continue to go through all of the standard emotions. The, jealousy, being pissed off, being upset, afraid, pessimistic, optimistic. I don’t think that you ever get over that.

Because infertility is a “business” it’s insane how much shit costs. A lot of it is a la carte too. It’s totally a consumer business, no matter what they tell you. One of the financing companies we’re dealing with (because yes, much like a mortgage, I have really no choice but to finance it. I don’t have 10-15k just lying around. You’ll notice the brochure all pretty with model like people looking happier than a redneck with a gun rack on the back of his truck. The worlds most perfectly beautiful baby. Yes, you too can afford fertility treatments. “We help you, by putting together package deals so that you’ll spend more, and the doctor can afford to keep his wife living in the style to which she’s accustomed. Everyone wins!!!” I just laugh at these brochures. HAHAHAHAHAH. They’re a total smack in the face. Look at the couple on the left, all standing on the dock, having a tender moment. “Our dreams came true…” the elipses of course is the part they left out, which is, “but now we owe a buttload of money and need to move into an apartment because we can’t even afford this kid tthat we wanted so badly, let alone our mortgage.”

The fears we have are, what if we go through this, what if there’s nothing to show for it? I know I’m not alone in feeling this. But there are just all of these questions. Do we do this once, or do we do it more than once and worry about the money later? More importantly, can we just get over this and make a fucking decision already so that I can stop being tormented by the paperwork on our coffee table?

{ 9 comments }

Merrin November 6, 2005 at 5:16 pm

Did you get the “Shared Risk Reward” brochure? That one was my favorite. It’s like a money back guarantee on your IVF should it fail. Right. Like that makes it okay. I so *totally* feel your pain.

Camille November 6, 2005 at 5:32 pm

Since I want you to know I care, and I don’t know what to say, and just finished ranting a few days ago about people not saying the right thing….well, just know that I care.

jen November 6, 2005 at 7:52 pm

What Camille said….
*sigh*

Pete November 6, 2005 at 8:35 pm

I think if it doesn’t work, you should be able to either go to Guatemala or Russia, and pick a kid of your very own, or be able to at least kick the doctors in their ballbags.

Extra points if you miss and hit the brown eye.

Jules November 6, 2005 at 10:55 pm

I’m going to leave you a {{HUG}} and I will hold faith that it will happen for you.

Helen November 6, 2005 at 11:30 pm

See, our brochures here are a lot less Hallmark card-they come in a thick blue book with enough stats to make Professor Plum orgasm. I like yours better. I picture the couple on the dock on that horrible one:

Him Thinking: I’m giving up mu mid-life crisis dreams of a Porsche for this, you cow.

Her Thinking: I’m shagging the janitor.

Maybe my perspective is off.

Annastazia November 7, 2005 at 12:34 pm

My thoughts are with you both as well. And I think Helen should write the next line of brochures.

Amy November 8, 2005 at 6:10 pm

I’m sorry you’re having to go through this… my thoughts are with you.

Deltus November 9, 2005 at 11:17 am

No advice for you. I wouldn’t be so insulting. But, the missus and I did try for over 5 years to get pregnant before it happened, so I know what you’re going through.

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