Tiny fingers, all things pink and dancing the funky chicken.

by statia on November 29, 2005

When we headed over to our friends house on Sunday to see the kids, I totally forgot how small babies are. It’s been eons since I’ve been around an infant, and even if you’ve had your very own infant (complete with movable arms and legs) you forget how little they were. First of all, one could not go over there without bringing cute pink outfits, because hello? Pink? I’m very pleased that our friend is embracing the pink, in fact her husband (my coworker) is like, “dude, what’s up with all the pink?” She’s like, “I’m NOT over the pink yet, buddy, so just BACK OFF about the pink.” I love that woman. She made me shed a small tear of joy. I think that comes from having a boy first and realizing that there isn’t as much of a selection when it comes to boys. So yeah, we both gushed over the pink like we were 7 and were combing Barbie’s hair and making her look like a hooker for Ken.

What? Like you didn’t hookerfy your barbie? She totally has hooker legs. And boobs.

So, naturally I held the baby and her fingers, OH MY GOD the tiny little fingers. It was so surreal, and I wanted to just bite them off.

That sounds a little sadistic doesn’t it? (I promise not to bite the baby’s fingers off) But I couldn’t help it, they were so freaking small and cute.

And then I was like, whoa, these baby things are freaking heavy after a while. She also decided the time to shit was when she was being held by the meester. Beauty of other people’s babies is that you can totally hand them off to their respective owners and say, “she’s all yours.” Not so much when it’s your baby.

Then we played with the older one while he played with his new Little People Barnyard. Now I completely understand why my father didn’t want to let me play with my Little People Garage as a kid. He totally wanted to keep it for himself.

Even though those baby things are heavy, and poop, I still want one. I want one with the tiny little fingers.


jen (j-mo.) November 29, 2005 at 3:44 pm

yes i totally hookerfied my barbies. the little tramps that they were.

and oh man, now i want a little people barnyard, too! when you guys get one, i’m so coming out to visit! (wait…do i mean the baby, or the little people thing?)

Rob November 29, 2005 at 3:45 pm

My wife and I both same the same thing when we’re asked whether or not we want children: “Don’t want ‘em, can’t make me have ‘em!” They’re cute… they’re cuddly… they’re adorable… but so are puppies.

Erin November 29, 2005 at 5:43 pm

Love the pink. Embrace the pink.

Camille November 29, 2005 at 5:45 pm

I know what you mean about wanting to eat the baby’s fingers. My baby isn’t much of a baby anymore, but he’s so cute that sometimes I want to gobble him up.

amy t. November 30, 2005 at 7:46 am

Is it wrong that you’re writing about pink and babies and how cute it all is, and I immediately thought “SHOW ME THE PINK!” from the Jenna Jameson autobiography?

Ms. Pants November 30, 2005 at 7:46 am

What if you have a baby with man hands?

Scott November 30, 2005 at 8:21 am

For what it’s worth, my wife is expecting our fifth child, and I gotta say, the tiny fingers are worth the price of admission. I’ve come THIS close to biting one off before, but fortunately I held back. It’s hard to explain a missing digit to the child authorities…

Anyway, just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your posts. And no, I’m not a stalker or anything. I always find it creepy when complete strangers show up on my blog and start posting comments like they’re my long lost cousin or something. I just genuinely enjoyed your stuff. (And by the way, I sincerely hope IVF goes well for you. Good luck!)

Merrin November 30, 2005 at 3:23 pm

Yep. I had Crack Whore Barbie and Pimp Ken. And I was 7. Those tiny little fingers sure don’t last long, but I want one, too. Then I can play hooker Barbie. I’m gonna be Mother of the Year!

robyn November 30, 2005 at 7:47 pm

If you have a girl, ‘Janie and Jack’ had better well just surrender right now…

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