My middle name is Judy Garland.

by statia on November 5, 2005

Ever since August, I’ve been on Effexor for depression. I fought it for 6 months. Because hello? Who wants to admit they need help with chemicals? But the chemicals? They’ve been good. I feel better and as an added benefit, Effexor makes you lose weight. How can this not be a win win situation? Makes me think I should have done this a long time ago instead of acting like I was strong enough to deal with it on my own.

The downside? I still can’t fucking sleep, and when Statia doesn’t sleep, no one in the house fucking sleeps because I make it a point to toss haphazardly and sigh so that the Meester? He doesn’t get any sleep either. This frustrates and pisses the Meester off a lot. But when you’re married, this is what you do to your husband. You drive him crazy with stuff like this and also by saying things like “Is the area surrounding the coffee table really the place to store your entire shoe collection?” Trust me, they secretly love it.

I kept asking my doctor for anything to help me sleep. I asked about Lunesta, and he gave some to me, but wasn’t really its champion and pretty much said “if it doesn’t work, I won’t tell you I told you so.” I love that my doctor isn’t persuaded by cheap pens and other pharmaceutical gimmicks.


Lunesta’s claim is like, “fall asleep quickly, stay asleep all night.” It’s one of those that’s supposed to mimmick your natural sleep patterns. If by mimmick your natural sleep patterns they mean it makes you feel like someone dragged you out of bed while you were (sort of) sleeping and kicked your ass down the freeway and then tucked you back in at the end so you had no recollection of this ever happening? Then yeah, Lunesta works great.

I finally begged my doctor to give me valium because it’s really the only thing that helps and because if it were socially acceptable, I would take valium all the time. Especially in California, because trust me, you need it here. He totally gave me valium. And the Meester has some ativan from awhile ago, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I’ve scored the benzodiazepine JACKPOT!! Which I know totally makes me sound like an addict. But when you’re not sleeping? Someone could tell you that jerking off a rooster during the summer solstice works, and you’d totally try it. People in my shoes, you know it’s true.

This past week, the valium or ativan (I like to switch it up to keep things interesing) has been causing me to have hallucinations while I sleep. I’ve woken up no more than 3 times this week thinking it’s Saturday or having no fucking clue where I am. I also think that I’m talking in my sleep, but the Meester assures me otherwise. Which means that maybe it’s time I start to wean myself off of the benzos sometime soon. Especially since we’re starting IVF soon. I really don’t want a baby with an arm growing out of its asshole.

Though, if that’s the case, then we could become carnies and make millions off of our asshole hand baby.

{ 6 comments }

Lisa-ThePooper November 5, 2005 at 9:23 am

IVF??? Yay! I hope it works out well for you and the Meester. I’ve had problems sleeping since I got pregnant (I’ll be 4 months on Tuesday,) and I just had my first night of more than 2 hours of sleep in a row. I slept for 7 hours!! 7 of them! In a row!! Anyway, that was brought on by Robitussin PM (it’s OK to take) and exhaustion. Anyway, good luck with the IVF.

Lisa November 5, 2005 at 12:27 pm

Hey, babe. I have trouble sleeping too. I did ok with 5mg Ambien but I still didn’t sleep the whole night (and 10mg left me groggy feeling).

Also, it’s possible that the Effexor is causing the lucid dreams (that’s what they called it in some of the literature I read). I noticed that on Paxil I’d have some realllly vivid dreams.

Good luck with the IVF. You know I’m in your corner!

Manuela November 5, 2005 at 2:21 pm

Founding member of the Church of Zoloft here… it’s been a life-saver… EXCEPT… I pack ON the pounds when I’m on it… I should talk to my Doc about other options…

Is Effexor generally known to has a weight-loss effect or is that just your own personal dumb luck?

Jenn November 6, 2005 at 8:07 pm

My favorite antidepressant insomnia cure was 5mg of Ambien. Mmmm…Ambien. Effexor made me twitch. To the point I was actually diagnosed with Tourettes (which is crap, i’ll have to blog about that).

Missy November 8, 2005 at 7:41 pm

That sucks about the sleep loss. I’m glad you are still feeling better though. I took your advice from a while ago and decided to take the meds the dr prescribed. Its helping and I am glad. Am having the same trouble sleeping, but I wish I could claim lexapro caused weight loss – Its been a battle, Good luck finding some sleep!

Deltus November 9, 2005 at 11:08 am

It’s great that your meds are helping, though.

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