I totally forgot the napkin rings made of tree branches and the topiaries.

by statia on November 25, 2005

Dinner was a smashing success, or so my in laws said. My in laws aren’t the type to be judgemental about the food, but really it was good. I tried something different with my turkey this year, courtesy of my beloved Helen and it came out so fucking good that we were licking the bones.

I made a few new recipes which is dangerous to do on a holiday before testing it out, but you know what? I like to live on the edge dammit. I don’t kick up my heels often enough. WOOOHOOO!! Watch out people. I might just attempt to flambé something. Or maybe just attempt to completely singe my eyebrows off with alchohol and fire. We all need to start from scratch on the eyebrows from time to time.

Morning: Made a cornbread dressing (really a stuffing, but it was all fancy like in calling it a “dressing”) and me kicked all in high gear like pilz, while the meester tried to dump onion down my crack. I really work better under pressure and apparently with onion down my crack.

Still morning: Take a shower (always shower together on the weekends, to conserve time and water of course). Realize that I don’t have cider or napkins and the bread machine decided to make our cheddar chive bread into a brick. Send meester to the store for cider, napkins and rolls (so maybe I’m only a mildly retarded Martha Stewart).
Meester comes back with egg nog instead because they were out of cider and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA isn’t he just the funniest? Throw up in my mouth a little.

Noonish: The in laws arrive with pie and the vile green bean casserole. Throw up in my mouth a little more.

Noonish-thirty: Put out cheese and crackers and this torte thing that I bought for Sarah when I went out to visit her. MMMMMM cheese. Cheese makes it all better. Especially Basque Shepherds Cheese. And Why Am I Capitalizing Every Word? Start making sweet potatoes and prepare the turkey.

1 ish: Proceed to sack out on the sofa watching 50 First Dates and the Crossing Jordan marathon. Eat lots more cheese and crackers.

4 ish: Start preparing my kick ass garlic mashed potatoes and my Great Aunt Lee’s lobster bisque. I’ve only eaten my aunts lobster bisque, I’ve never actually made it, but holy fuck is it good.

5 ish: Sit down to dinner, and watch my mother in law have a panty changing experience over the bisque. I’m guessing it turned out ok.

After that we all sacked out on the sofa again and watched some tv. I have no idea what we watched, since the rest of the night was a blue thanks to the tryptophan induced coma from the turkey. “I eat that turkey then I take a nap.”

Also? Little Miss M. is a total pussy ass bitch. She does not like any other people at all. She spent the entire day growling at them whenever they came near. What the hell kind of dog is this? Seriously. We take her everywhere. And you know, just for that, extra sweaters for her and maybe a pair of rain boots.

I think every country should have a holiday entirely devoted to eating and watching tv for a day.


jen November 25, 2005 at 11:35 am

Onion down your crack and gravy on my rack! Woo! Gods help us if we ever had Thanksgiving together! LOL

*raises glass of water in a toast* Here is to successful thanksgivings!!

Manuela November 25, 2005 at 2:49 pm

Are you going to SHARE the lobster bisque recipe or just gloat about it…

Lisa November 25, 2005 at 4:53 pm

Yeah, I need to hear more about this lobster bisque too! Please.

robyn November 25, 2005 at 7:56 pm

I’m with Jen — more Thanksgivings for you in Tampa! I’ll even share my holiday roll…

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