Dear Stupid Dog,

by statia on November 2, 2005

Dear little dog currently residing in our house,

Please stop pissing on the floor. I know you’re smart. I know you get.it. I know you’re doing it out of spite and if you don’t knock it the fuck off right now, I’m going to sell you to the Chinese restaurant up the street.

Love,
Mommy.

Dear person in the small clusterfuck parking lot at Starfucks,

Next time you see a person waiting for your parking spot, don’t take your fucking time and put your makeup on when parking is at a premium. The makeup didn’t help and you’re an ignorant fucking cunt to boot.

Love and kisses,
Statia

{ 3 comments }

Lisa November 3, 2005 at 11:56 am

Darn non-English speaking animals!

Manuela November 3, 2005 at 2:55 pm

I SEEEE…. so THIS is the new unadulterated version of Statia?
Of the foul language I approve, of the snark I applaud, and of the peeing chihuahua (?sp? no idea)… I merely laugh… for I suffer the peeing basenji. Let me know if the letter works… I might have you send one over here to my mutt.

Deltus November 4, 2005 at 8:22 am

That parking-lot-makeup bitch was in my town last week! Wow, she gets around.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: