Certain things just shouldn’t be in liquid form.

by statia on November 15, 2005

I’m taking issue with some things lately. I take issue with lots of things, but seriously? These take the cake. Drinkable foods. Sure, protein shakes and that sort of thing are fine. Meal in a can, but that doesn’t mean you literally flavor your meal in a can to resemble a meal on your plate. Cereal flavored beverage? And don’t even get me started on the Jones concotions they have going on right now. Brussel Sprouts? Stuffing Flavored? What the fuck are those people smoking? Do I really want to drink a soda that’s flavored like turkey and gravy? Do I? No. No, I don’t think I do.

And another thing? What the hell is up with the blogging community addressing their readers as the internet and or internets? This is just not funny or cool. When did people on the internet become one person?

Oh and fuck you to the Fed Ex guy who blatantly blew the stop sign when clearly IT WAS MY FUCKING TURN you fucking dolt. I should get that guy fired. I’ve got some extra karma when I totally prevented a cashier from being like 20 bucks short. (I’m a math retard, but seriously, this was simple math).

Stay tuned for my next rant: “My period has vacation radar, and will probably show up the minute I step off the plane in Houston.”

{ 14 comments }

Merrin November 15, 2005 at 2:32 pm

Don’t forget the Jones Smoked Salmon flavored soda. Eeeeewwwww. Who wants to drink a fish?

Ms. Pants November 15, 2005 at 2:34 pm

I have gladware.

Camille November 15, 2005 at 4:45 pm

We tried the Jones Candy Corn and Jones Caramel Apple at Halloween….ewww. Just gross. Not that I thought they’d be good, though.

Erin November 15, 2005 at 5:51 pm

I like to address my readers as blog friends. Sort of retarded. What I should really say is HEY LURKERS, what up?

:: jozjozjoz :: November 16, 2005 at 12:35 am

I, too, am totally scared of those Jones soda flavors.

Dooneybug November 16, 2005 at 6:19 am

How ironic. I think you need to come over and visit my site today, the perfect outlet.

geeky November 16, 2005 at 7:02 am

er… i’ve addressed the internet before. i’m sorry, i didnt know! please forgive me, internet.

Deltus November 16, 2005 at 7:21 am

Turkey flavored drink? Wha…? That’s just wrong.

Lisa November 16, 2005 at 7:33 am

Liquid cereal? Vile. The Jones’ sodas? Not even interested. Not even a teeny bit.

Yes, some things should definitely not be made liquid.

The Meeeester November 16, 2005 at 7:45 am

See, Deltus? You guys get Rolo Ice Cream. What do we get? Turkey gravy flavored drinks. I think we got the shaft somewhere.

Lenni November 16, 2005 at 9:36 am

That just sounds like someone ate it, puked it back up and bottled it. nasty!

Manuela November 16, 2005 at 10:06 am

G R O S S ! !

Thank gawd we don’t have those in Canada… shudder…

And hey… if you happen to find my period in Houston, don’t forget to send it my way… better use U.P.S.

Donna November 16, 2005 at 12:05 pm

More snarkiness – yay! I tend to call my peeps “gentle readers” which is a nod and a wink kinda thing. Those Jones people are on crack. Oooo, crack soda! Now that I would buy, just to get through the holidays.

April November 16, 2005 at 12:06 pm

There was an article on the news yesterday that the CEO of Jones couldn’t even choke the smoked salmon down. And the cereal in a can. Ewww. Just Eww.

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