It’s a coffee table book about coffee tables

by statia on June 4, 2005

Last night we were on a mission. I had to retrun my 2 month old Nike Shox because the spring broke. Which, pisses me off, since I paid 100 bucks for them. I’ve never had a problem with Nike sneakers (that’s right Mikey I said sneakers). Sure, they’re made by kids in Indonesia who work for 12 cents an hour and are high on toxic glue, but they’ve always held up well. In fact, I have a pair from five years ago that I’ve worn the shit out of, and sometimes still wear because I like them so much. Anyway. I’m rambling. It was also Operation Birthday Present™ because it’s someone’s birthday in a week and a half. If she only knew.

So we stopped by Urban Outfitters because I love the books and the kitsch. I swear, what is it about that store? I want to buy every single book on the table whenever I go in there.


So I picked up this book, Not Proud, which was based on a website that has been around forever, and everyone’s thinking “Sporty, that site is so 2 years ago, where the hell have you been?” But surprisingly, for as much time as I spend on the internet, I’ve never seen it. So, yeah, they made it into a little book, that fucking cracked me up so badly, that I plonked down the 10 bucks for it. My three favorites are:

“I once ate a Skittle I found behind the toilet because it was a green one.”

I can totally relate. While I’ve never done that, trust me, I’d be really tempted. Green skittles are the best.

“I love cheese. All kinds of cheese. I could cover everyone and everything with cheese and it still wouldn’t be enough. Those Tom and Jerry episodes where Jerry is living inside a big wedge of swiss cheese almost made me cry.”

I instantly bust out in the store laughing because I totally thought of Mac

“While eating dinner, I noticed the guy at the next table picking his nose. I handed him the oyster fork.”

Do I even need to elaborate on why this is funny as hell?

And my confession?

I’m proud of the fact that I used this entry to brew a poop.

{ 6 comments }

The Meeeeester June 4, 2005 at 11:55 am

It’s true…she’s pooping right now.

Melissa June 4, 2005 at 1:03 pm

I love, love, loooove the books at Urban Outfitters!!

sphinx June 4, 2005 at 6:55 pm

*bratty leg*

Deltus June 6, 2005 at 7:41 am

Blogging: it’s the new laxative.

mac June 6, 2005 at 6:48 pm

Ummmmmm….cheeeeeeeeeese.

Dania June 8, 2005 at 6:58 am

“I once was cleaning out my fish tank with one of those suction hose devices and I accidentally sucked out the eyeball of one my goldfishes. It lived and is still today swimming around with a giant hollowed out hole in the side of its head.”

hahahahaha

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