pass the puddin’

by statia on February 11, 2005

I just wanted to thank everyone for your compliments the other day. It wasn’t an entry about fishing for them, but I do appreciate them nonetheless. I think the Meester finally understands as well. It’s nice that all of you think that I look better or that I look happier. Why do I not feel good about myself on the inside? I think that’s more the battle I’m trying to fight. I’m sure that losing weight, or working out is not the answer. I think it’s just accepting who I am, the way I am. That’s the hardest battle and scary, because women are so critical of themselves. Yes, a lot of it has to do with the media, but because of that media, women will go through great lengths to look like that, including hurting their bodies in some way. That’s really just scary, because I still get those urges. I’m still tempted. In some ways, yes, I’m much happier. I have a great life now, and people who love me. I’ve come to terms with a lot of things over the last two years. It’s the skin, my skin just feels uncomfortable on me. I need to do something about it. I’m just not sure what yet. Until then, I’m finding new and creative ways to keep myself busy, and find what will make me happy within myself.


sphinx February 11, 2005 at 7:37 am

I’m finding new and creative ways to keep myself busy

Like pound-you-in-the-ass pottery painting?

Deltus February 11, 2005 at 7:52 am

You could take up juggling, and learn to juggle unusual and interesting things. Like octopi and metric torque wrenches and stuff like that.

Oh, and stop reading the “fashion mags”, if you read them. Evil little bundles of insecurity-inducing trash, and yet people line up around the block to buy them.

Sque February 11, 2005 at 8:36 am

Well, I don’t have any snappy answers here, but I can tell you that you’re not alone.

Princess February 11, 2005 at 1:54 pm

Deep down, no matter what we women say or how we try to be more than just superficial, all we *really* care about is what we look like and how we look to others.
Kirstie Alley does a show about being fat and, presumably, fat acceptance… then she takes a major u-turn and goes on a diet to get “skinny.”

And Oprah, who claims to be all about being happy with who and where you are in life, consistently reinvents her look and diet plan.

It’s just who we are as women and as human beings. I’m glad to know you’re striving to find peace with your perspective on your body because, really, that’s all you’ve got, babe.

And I think you look superbly hot!

Pamela February 11, 2005 at 3:00 pm

*resists the urge to play feesakeeatrist*
Luuuuuucy, Ahm home frum de club!

martha February 12, 2005 at 6:30 am

I think one of the keys for me is being able to tell myself that I’m living a healthy life – that I’m eating well, exercising some and taking care of myself and that my body is the way it’s meant to be. It doesn’t always silence the voices but it makes them be quiet for a little while at least.

Sibeal February 12, 2005 at 9:02 am

I must have misunderestimated you… I thought pooping was giving you ultimate fulfillment. My bad.

Like I said in my other comment, your body and your soul need time to sync up. The thoughts about your body are just the next step in your soul’s healing. Try reading Transformation Soup by SARK. It’s refreshingly simple and heartfelt… and not filled with all that Dr. Phil know-it-all crap.

Love ya, sweets.

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