Lion’s and tigers and bears, oh my.

by statia on February 28, 2005

This weekend was filled with lots of weird dreams. From Mikey showing off his Fluevog’s to me, to Sim’s having alien babies (step away from the game, Sporty… slowly), to me getting fat and old.

I don’t like that last part. We watched the end of St. Elmo’s Fire last night, which the Meester has never seen. I love that movie, but it depresses me. Funny, when I was 23, 24, 25, sure 30 scared the shit out of me. I’d have anxiety attacks about turning 30. For a while it didn’t bother me. All of a sudden it’s fucking depressing. Yes, I know a lot of people are going to say that the 30′s are the best years of your life, and things like, leaving their 20′s behind was great because by the time you hit your late 20′s your sick of the immature bullshit, blah blah. That’s dandy. But honestly, I hate that I totally related to the end of the movie where they’re all standing outside the bar and decided to go somewhere else. And they were only 23 years old. 23!!!! I hate that I feel that way, and that I think: “23?!? They’re just BABIES!!!!” I have anxiety attacks in the middle of the night when I wake up to go to the bathroom because the middle of the night in a half asleep stupor when there’s nothing else to think about, I freak out over my own mortality. Because you know what’s just around the corner? Your fucking 40′s, and don’t tell me 40′s didn’t scare at least half of you.

I don’t care if the 30′s are the best years of your life, I’m still not done freaking out over it, and all of a sudden, I’ve become cranky as fuck.

{ 11 comments }

Empress February 28, 2005 at 8:25 am

I’m facing 45 this year. Imagine my late-night ponderings!

fran February 28, 2005 at 9:20 am

heh, try dreaming about working in an undewear store for women where women strip and try on underwear right there at the racks and were the employees are trying to dig an underground tunnel right there in the store and someone’s saying to you “all you care about is tits! tits!” because the manager found a copy of sports illustrated and someone said it was yours but it wasn’t! it wasn’t my sports illustrated and tits wasn’t all i cared about! i cared about the tunnel too! i i did!

Princess February 28, 2005 at 9:33 am

Um, maybe it’s better if we don’t celebrate my 30th birthday together this spring… ; P
I’m looking forward to it. I’m ready for it. You will be too – and you’ve got someone fantastic to grow old with.

mikey February 28, 2005 at 9:49 am

if i remember correctly, there are only two or three Fluevog store in the country.

one of them is on Haight. that’s where i bought my 2nd pair at.

wait, you’re in the Bay area now, right? yeah, that’s all i’m saying.

Tom February 28, 2005 at 12:02 pm

I thought I was the only person who had panic attacks about my mortality in the middle of the night. There are times that I wake up at like 3 am, and think. Oh my God, I’m going to die. And then I have a panic attack.

At least I’m not the only one that happens to.

skits February 28, 2005 at 1:37 pm

I turn 40 this year, and I alternate between “My life is halfway over!! aaiiieee!”, and “Groovy, 40 isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.” The rest of my time is spent somewhere in the middle of those two. heh.

Sibeal February 28, 2005 at 1:53 pm

They were only 23??? Oh, dear God. They really are babies. I’m going to be 31 in two weeks. I think the only weird thing about getting older for me now is watching the kids around me getting older. Like the kids I used to babysit going to college… when my goddaughter graduates high school, then I’ll be old. I’ve got 16 years. :)

robyn February 28, 2005 at 3:00 pm

30 scared the bejeezus out of me, until it hit anyway whether I was ready for it or not. Now, I’m one of those people you hate who say they wouldn’t go back to their 20s for anything. And I wouldn’t. Not a chance.

A year from now, you’ll read this entry and chuckle. Guaranteed. The thought of it is so much worse than just living it.

I’m gonna be 40. Someday.

Ari February 28, 2005 at 6:01 pm

Damn, I hear you, every says 30 is better, then 20, but I 2 had grea ttimes in my 20′s thought I new who I was redoiscovered myself, etc. To do it all over again the 30′s really what has changed except for the fact i can’t drink like i used to.

Deltus February 28, 2005 at 9:17 pm

This aging this is odd to me. I don’t feel any different than when I was 18. Or 16. Or 22. I feel the exact same, is what I mean. Maybe I’m just odd.

Pamela March 1, 2005 at 3:28 pm

Fluevogs RULE!

A great line from the late Walter Matthau:

If you don’t want to feel old, hang around with older people.

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