Get the great ass you’ve always wanted

by statia on February 9, 2005

While we were at the gym yesterday, I caught a bit of Oprah. It scares me that I find Oprah interesting sometimes. Oprah is one of those types that you either love or you hate. Like, Martha, I want to hate her, but dammit, it’s hard. At least I can say for Oprah is that she tries to do good. She didn’t turn into Sally, or Montel.


Yesterday she had a bunch of women on who were addicted to plastic surgery. Who would stop at nothing to look “perfect.” One woman’s husband was about to leave her because she had racked up so much debt from her surgeries, that they had re-mortgaged their house and her husband was working three jobs. Yet, had she not had this threat over her head, she would still have more surgery, because in her eyes she wasn’t perfect. Others would steal, pose nude, etc. In a way, I can totally understand. I’ve never had plastic surgery, but I’ve definitely contemplated it, and still do. I’ve always hated my legs and most likely will someday do something about it. When I have the means. But I understood the pain. No matter how much their significant other told them how much they loved them, or how beautiful they were, it didn’t help. I totally identified with them on that level. It wasn’t about everyone else, it was about them. Part of it scared me because they all thought at the beginning, “if I just get xyz done, I’ll be perfect and that’ll be that.”

I was going through the garage the other day, looking for a few old old baby pictures, and I came across some old pictures of me and my ex. This was me five and a half years ago. The night before my wedding. I look at this picture and I can’t believe that’s me. I looked so sick. I was sick. Yet, at that time, I still wasn’t thin enough. Even though my size 2 pants were falling off my waist and my ribs were protruding out, I was still too heavy. This is me now. I’m not fat. I know that. But, I feel uncomfortable in my skin. My old clothes don’t fit me the way that they once did. I’m working out, and yet it seems like it doesn’t work. I’m trying to fight what seems like a never winning battle. I can’t figure out if that battle is being thinner, or finding comfort and happiness in accepting my body the way it is.

I look at that old picture of me, scared of getting too heavy, but also scared that I’ll end up becoming obsessive about the control again. I’m hoping that keeping that old picture and looking at it from time to time, will keep me from going back down that road.

It really is a never ending battle.

{ 23 comments }

Wendy February 9, 2005 at 8:23 am

FIRST?!@!@#!!@#!@#!!111one

yer hot.

fran February 9, 2005 at 8:34 am

you don’t like your legs?! uh? what? they are too short? they look fine to me (from looking at the pic on the sidebar)…

i know what you mean though, often times i have to smack myself a little (not literally of course) and ease up on the whole too fat/too thin/ perception and just remember to work out and stay in shape…

geeky February 9, 2005 at 8:48 am

i think we’ve all got things we would like to change about ourselves. i think the main thing is to make sure your healthy. i will personally never get plastic surgery because my fear of having any surgery outweighs my desire to change my physical appearance.

Dania February 9, 2005 at 8:58 am

I’m obsessed with this whole body thing too and it scares me. I hope to god when I get my plastic surgery done i’ll finally be happy and that will be the end of it.

I was never like this before, and it showed…and now that i’ve done something about it and i’m “normal” When people look at me and say i’m “skinny”…I don’t see that, and that’s where my problem is because I don’t believe them.

shaunacat February 9, 2005 at 10:19 am

I think you look beautiful in the ‘now’ picture, because you look healthy. That other girl looks frail. Just my two cents.

Ari February 9, 2005 at 11:01 am

This may sound cliche, but obsession is somewhat of a normal thing. Their are ways to lesson the blow like keeping busy all the time. Just remember no matter what all the wonderful things that you have in your life, G-Dog, your husband, your friends and have the ability to understand that no matter what these are the things that are most important to you.

Annastazia February 9, 2005 at 11:34 am

I’m amazed at how different those two pictures are. Not only physically, but in the current one, you look so much happier. I’m glad to see it.

Melissa February 9, 2005 at 12:09 pm

I have to agree with Annastazia. The two pictures are completely different. You look much healthier in the recent photo compared to the other photo and you definitely look much happier!!

Tanya February 9, 2005 at 12:42 pm

Those were some wicked clavicles, but you look much better with curves. Not just healthier, but aesthetically better.

Pamela February 9, 2005 at 3:00 pm

Women are like roses…
And you are in BLOOM, cherie.
You can’t go back to being a rosebud,
and really, would you want to?

Lisa February 9, 2005 at 5:15 pm

You look great now. Seriously.

Sibeal February 9, 2005 at 6:19 pm

Perhaps you have a soul satisfaction now that you didn’t have then… you certainly look as if you’ve found a peacefulness that you didn’t have then… in your soul. Perhaps… it is time for the peace of your soul to extend to your body.

Deltus February 9, 2005 at 9:37 pm

Self-image is the single biggest thing that women can learn a LOT about from men. The average woman’s self-image is very distorted from reality. And that’s tragic.

Helen February 9, 2005 at 10:49 pm

I can relate-it is a never-ending battoe for me too, and I have seen the hungry side of anorexia, too.

But it doesn’t matter how many people tell you you’re pretty and you look good, if you don’t believe it yourself.

Just my personal view.

Irene February 10, 2005 at 2:14 am

You’re looking good kid, don’t change a thing. Maybe you are building up some muscle by working out. Acceptance comes with age…I am old, I should know! Don’t get stuck thinking things are wrong with you. Look at how good you look. Be thankful for that. Some of us look much worse.

kat February 10, 2005 at 3:52 am

I think you look fabulous! You look healthy and happy.
I know, that’s not how you see it. I see all my “flaws” everytime I look in the mirror too but I am coming to accept them.
I just want you to know that you look great and protruing clavicles are so icky, they make me gag. :P

Camille February 10, 2005 at 8:41 am

I believe that happiness with yourself comes from the inside. Accept yourself the way you are. You are beautiful – inside and out.

fleecey February 10, 2005 at 8:51 am

you look great in the second photo. i remember finding some old photos of myself awhile back too, and i think i’m starting to realize that what i thought looked good back then just looks really unhealthy now.

Red Headed Blogger February 10, 2005 at 9:14 am

Self-Esteem

I saw this post over at Sporty’s today. And I saw that Oprah show last night too. I was sad…

redsaid February 10, 2005 at 2:16 pm

I also think you look much better in the second photo. You have this glow about you. In the first photo, although you were still obviously stunning, you didn’t look quite as happy as you do now.

And yes, I think it’s the one common bond that almost all women share: insecurity about something about our looks. Not that one remembers anyone else’s insecurity when you are standing in front of the mirror (or in my case, shattering it! See?), scrutinizing yourself!

P.S. I bet the Meester adores those parts that you hate about yourself, doesn’t he?

robyn February 10, 2005 at 3:08 pm

I’ve known you quite awhile now, and I’ve honestly never seen you look more beautiful. You’re wearing your soul on the outside these days, and it suits you quite nicely.

skurdycat February 11, 2005 at 9:06 am

you are beautiful!

jason keubke February 17, 2005 at 6:43 am

I like to lick boys assholes, and then when I’m done rooting my thumb around in the poop shoot, I like to put my pee pee in there.

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