Santa Baby

by statia on December 23, 2004

Dear Santa,

I know I’m kind of getting this in late, being that Christmas eve is tomorrow and all, and you’re probably up to your eyeballs in tickle me elmos or whatever it is that’s popular this year. I wouldn’t know, as I don’t have kids, and I’m perfectly content with gas station cars as toys. I do have some last minute wishes though. I don’t know if you can make them happen, but if you can, I’d greatly appreciate it. If you can, I’ll save you a little prime rib tomorrow night and you can have that. I don’t know if you’re low carbing like everyone else. If you are, you’ve gotta be pretty pissed off at all the cookies. Anyway, here’s my list:


A clear complexion. – Seriously, I’m 29. I never had bad skin in high school or in my 20′s. What the hell happened over the last couple of years?

To sleep through the night. – I don’t think I’ve slept through the night but once in the last five years. I always pee at least once. I just want be able to sleep through the night.

A very high metabolism. – Ok so this is kind of reaching. I know. But I figured I’d try.

For the Meester’s cold to go away. – I kind of just threw that in there, but the meester is feeling like asshole on a stick now, and really, who wants to be sick for Christmas?

Yep, ok, so that’s about it. Fly safely, and I hope you don’t get attacked by any mean dogs, or cats. Cats can be evil too.

Love,
Sporty

{ 9 comments }

KB December 23, 2004 at 10:31 am

Merry Christmas to ya, Sporty. And a quick recovery to the Meester.

Deltus December 23, 2004 at 12:05 pm

A high metabolism! Why didn’t I think of that?!! Shit, and I’m going to end up getting a robe or some lame shit like that. I want a high metabolism too. *pouts*

Kevin Donahue December 23, 2004 at 2:00 pm

Merry Christmas and a Happy Yule Log!

fleecey December 23, 2004 at 2:16 pm

happy holidays! and i totally hope you get the clear complexion. that’s what i want too :)

M@ December 23, 2004 at 6:10 pm

For the sleeping through the night, try Melotonex. It’s works extremely well.

gordon December 24, 2004 at 6:32 am

High metabolism and melotonex? I think sex for 5 hours with your finacee is the answer. It will energize you and then put you out like a light. :)

sphinx December 24, 2004 at 8:02 am

spoilt.

sphinx December 24, 2004 at 8:03 am

*poops yule log*

:: jozjozjoz :: December 26, 2004 at 12:07 am

I want a high metabolism, too!

Here’s to Santa giving you all your gifts!

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