On an island in the sun, we’ll be playin’ and havin’ fun

by statia on December 3, 2004

I used to be a regular fake n’ bake tanner. I hate looking like pasty white, and it would always make me feel warm and happy on a shitty winters day.

Of course years and years of this will make you look like Magda. And I like leather handbags, but not enough to look like one. Funny how you think you’re invincible to aging until you near 30 and actually start to see the signs of aging. Ahh, if I knew then, what I knew now…

So now it’s sunscreen and self tanner. I’ve tried various self tanners over the years, and I’ve come to one conclusion: They simply can’t make a self tanner that doesn’t smell like dirty sweaty skin when you put it on. Has anyone else noticed this?


geeky December 3, 2004 at 10:02 am

i’m too scared to try self tanners. im afraid i’ll do it wrong and end up all streaky and orange.

P December 3, 2004 at 10:17 am

before i left for the Caribbean last spring i got a spray-on tan, so that i wouldn’t blind all the locals with my whiteness. it seemed crazy at first, to go somewhere to get sprayed like that, but the professional spray booths really do get it even all over without streaking, and the spray at this one place i’ve used comes out smelling like coconut.

mikey December 3, 2004 at 11:20 am

are you sure it’s the tanner’s fault? i mean, maybe *you* just smell like dirty, sweaty skin all the time….?

sphinx December 3, 2004 at 12:06 pm

Self tanners always make me smell like a potato.

robyn December 3, 2004 at 12:45 pm

Awhile back, Sephora royally farked up an order of mine and sent me a bag full of samples from these people — it even came with a sample of self-tan remover. It’s pretty pricey stuff. You want ‘em? I can tuck it into your Christmas box… You know I go with the geisha glow since I don’t have time for any fake-bakin’.

Pamela December 3, 2004 at 2:22 pm

Gimme dat fishbelly white any ‘ole day…

Deltus December 3, 2004 at 8:21 pm

Embrace pasty whiteness. Tanning is nothing more than radiation poisoning with good PR.

The Meeeeester December 3, 2004 at 9:01 pm

Tattoos = farmers tan for life

amy t. December 6, 2004 at 7:51 am

I was just thinking i needed to buy a self tanner. i have a strapless dress for my office christmas party, and nobody deserves to see my pasty white skin. got any recommendations?

sara December 6, 2004 at 2:43 pm

i used to use neutrogena’s foam but the loreal smells ALOT better – and deeper tan. but you have to be more careful about streaks because its a lotion and takes awhile to show the color – but it smells so much better! (I always self tan before bed so I dont have to go around all day smelling funny)

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