Look what I can do!

by statia on December 15, 2004

Purely for entertainment purposes, our dog we’ve decided has taken on a whole new animal. That animal is us anthropomorphizing his voice into something that sort of resembles Stuart from Mad TV, but way better. At least in my opinion. This is all we do now when we’re home. We play the “what we think G-man is thinking” game. We also wish he had opposoble thumbs, so we thought it’d be really funny if we were to (hypothetically of course, do not try this at home) sew on some shrimp as thumbs. You know, because it would be nice if our dog had thumbs so that he could do things during the day. Vacuum, throw in a load of wash, maybe make a casserole for dinner. That sort of thing. Of course, it always ends in him eating off his defrosted shrimp thumbs. We think we’re frickin’ geniuses. G-man, does not. He always starts rolling his eyes whenever we start talking like this. It’s the “oh fuck, here they go again” look. I’m so sure that one of these days, we’re going to come home to a “John Deer” letter, and an empty house.


Ms. Pants December 15, 2004 at 2:25 pm

Weiner bisque.

sphinx December 15, 2004 at 4:48 pm

He is going to smother you both in your sleep.

Deltus December 15, 2004 at 9:44 pm

Now all I can think of is you trying to prepare the G-man’s food, and him going, “Lemme do it!”

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