Just call me “yellow mitten”

by statia on September 1, 2004

I’ve told you all before that apparently, my pee is like a wild uncontrollable hose at times. I think it’s from the very short groom job that I have going on, but my pee doesn’t go straight down. So last night, I get up to go pee. I’m half asleep, and my pee is like “woooohoooooooooooo paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaartay”. I go to wipe and I ended up with a sopping wet hand full of pee. I don’t know how the hell this happened, but a sopping wet pee hand isn’t really good when you’re incoherent and half asleep.

Oh, wait, I have one better than that.


Shamole : that was 1 minute and 19 seconds by the way
Shamole : no, you k now how when you sit on the toilet
Shamole : since we’re girls
Shamole : we have a little triangle of open spae?
Shamole : space
Shamole : when our legs are together?
Shamole : that TINY TINY TINY triangle of space?
Shamole : Well, on one of the last big turds it splashed
Shamole : and like
Shamole : FLEW out of the triangle
Shamole : and hit my eye lid
Shamole : THANK GOD I WAS BLINKING
Moi : HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Moi : HAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA
Shamole : Is that not disgusting?!?!
Moi : OH MY GOD
Moi : that’s better than my pee hand

{ 13 comments }

The Meeeeester September 1, 2004 at 11:59 am

And, apparently, she came back to bed and held my hand….*skeeves*

tricia September 1, 2004 at 12:15 pm

I hope you washed your hand.

Crusty French Fries September 1, 2004 at 12:50 pm

Just call me “brown/yellow eye”

I took a poop in 1 minute and 19 seconds today (from the couch to the upstairs bathroom then back down to the couch again). I think that would have been a personal record if I hadn’t had to stop…

geeky September 1, 2004 at 1:00 pm

you girls talk about bodily functions more than most boys do!

Deltus September 1, 2004 at 1:21 pm

Reason #8477384762 why being a guy is better: our pee goes exactly where we damned well aim it!

Reason #8477384763: the would-be triangle is covered by the package, and while splash-up is still gross, at least it’s contained inside the bowl and doesn’t touch our face.

Princess September 1, 2004 at 2:06 pm

I can’t believe I’m related to you freaks! And, hey Shamole, cut down on your fiber intake! You’re like a freakin poop cannon!

mikey September 1, 2004 at 2:08 pm

dude. sometimes, the skin on our pee hole is sticky, so when we pee, there’ll be like, two streams in opposite directions going… man, i hate that.

man, i hate turdsplash, too. i always try to “ease” ‘em out, but sometimes they splash. then you feel like you have to wipe your entire ass, because you’ve got splashed pee all over your buttocks.

oh! another thing i hate – when the turd doesn’t point into the hole, and ends up laying across the toilet… and you flush, and all it does is spin round and round the bowl, leaving a nice little swirl. HATE that.

rachel September 1, 2004 at 2:18 pm

Ever peed so hard it didn’t go in the toilet but sprayed out the little space between the seat and the toilet?

tricia September 1, 2004 at 3:02 pm

Uh, rachel? I don’t think that’s normal. Do you have a super soaker stuffed up there somewhere?

Little One September 1, 2004 at 4:10 pm

you guys are SICK!!

Kevin Donahue September 1, 2004 at 5:54 pm

LOL!!!!!! Thanks, S. I’ll be laughing all night!

Camille September 1, 2004 at 7:01 pm

LOL!!! That is f’n funny! Damn… you’re always good for a laugh!

Deltus September 2, 2004 at 8:16 am

Know why poop is tapered on the ends? So your anus doesn’t SLAM shut when you’re done pooping! =D

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