Do you wanna ride in my mercedes, boy…

by statia on August 16, 2004

I’ve never lived in a neighborhood that was weird. I never had weird characters in the places I’ve lived. I don’t have a screamer, or a weird chinese guy (which, is kinda debatable, after all, I think aside of Asia, California is like the Asian capital of the world). My new neighborhood is pretty quiet, but I finally have some weird enough neighbors. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it makes for some good conversations. Plus we get the added benefit of coming up with cool nicknames.

Like crazy mercedes guy. Parking is at a premium here. Everyone has a garage, plus overflow parking, say maybe 10 – 15 spots to a group. You figure there are at least 2 drivers in every apartment, and there are about 16 apartments to a group, and let’s say that half of those apartments, people don’t use their garages for their cars. So you figure that’s….. well I always sucked at math, so let’s just go back to parking being at a premium. Crazy mercedes guy has nine mercedes spread throughout our development. NINE!! More than half of which aren’t drivable. What the hell do you need nine old broken mercedes for, and why the fuck are you keeping them in a place where there’s no parking?

Then there’s the weird guy who lives by himself, and drives a crown victoria. Sure, that’s not so weird, except that we almost never see him and when we do, he’s got his car parked outside of his garage, which is also a fire lane. We think he keeps severed heads in his house. I saw him come home one day. He opened his trunk and all he had in there was a vegetable party tray and a big bulk package of tissues. Maybe no one else thinks he’s weird, but we saw him outside last weekend talking to a woman, and he was going to fix her car for her. If I see him driving that car around the neighborhood anytime soon, I’ll be a little skeeved out.


The Meeeeester August 16, 2004 at 8:06 pm

Let us not forget “crazy saturn driver guy who always glares at us while he is standing in his shit-filled garage and is desperately in need of a shave”. I like him really not a lot. I may just leave a flaming bag of poo on his doorstep tonight.

Deltus August 17, 2004 at 8:39 am

No rollers-in-the-fair-lady? No guy-in-the-wife-beater-shirt… um, guy?

jay August 17, 2004 at 4:09 pm

Do you have Mr. I know everyone elses business? I do… what a pita.

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