The bloods and the crips

by statia on July 7, 2004

I’m taking notice of all of the stupid random differences between the east coast vs. the west coast. Having been an east coast girl my entire life, there are certain products that I’ve come to know and love, that are the same here, but different. Yesterday, we were at the grocery store, stocking up on the meester’s biggest shopping trip ever. I’ve moved in with a reformed bachelor, who has never had the pleasure of going food shopping for more than 3-5 days worth of food. Also, since the truck hasn’t gotten here yet, I’m living with one pan, a giant mug that is multi purpose, a saucer, and a few utensils. Let me tell you, it’s been quite a change, for me in that arena, and I’m sure once all of my domesticy kitchen stuff gets here, he’ll be in sensory overload. But anyway, I’m rambling…..

Yesterday at the store, I was looking for certain products, and was baffled when they weren’t on the shelf. Like Hellman’s mayonnaise. Now, I’ve used this stuff all of my life. I’m thinking, “where the fuck is the Hellman’s?” Only to notice the same exact label, with the name Best Foods on it. Out east, we have Edy’s Ice cream, out west, Dreyer’s. What the fuck is up with that? How hard is it to keep the same name for the same fucking product?


Sir Henry July 7, 2004 at 5:51 pm

Just for the record, I am a willing participant in the reformation. Also, I have never needed anything more than a knife, a saucer, a multi-purpose mug and a pan (pot, too) after having watched all of the McGyver episodes. :D

Mia July 7, 2004 at 7:26 pm

I had a similar problem when I went down to San Diego to visit my sister, and spent the better half of an hour looking for a Safeway, before I realized my beloved Safeway was called Vons (I think) down there. I’m pretty sure they do it to watch our heads spin.

tricia July 7, 2004 at 7:57 pm

No Edy’s? Fuck that, Move back!

tj July 7, 2004 at 9:04 pm

we had reverse problems when we moved from san jose to dc two years ago.

hardees = carl’s jr.
orowheat = (can’t remember)

what’s the deal? i don’t get it …

Amy July 7, 2004 at 9:17 pm

I noticed that when we lived out west, too.

Also, it’s fun to order a cheesesteak from your local pizza shop. They have NO idea wtf you are talking about, generally. At least they didn’t 10 years ago.

Amy July 7, 2004 at 9:52 pm

I’m from Indiana and down south (Georgia) they don’t have french dressing, I thought that was weird.

BillH July 8, 2004 at 12:30 am

Hellmans?! It’s gotta be Miracle Whip! As far as ice cream, you haven’t really had any until you’ve had Whitey’s Ice Cream. It’s headquartered in the Quad Cities and I know people who are lactose intolerant who take the risk and eat Whitey’s.

robyn July 8, 2004 at 1:18 am

What I don’t get is in the Midwest, Hostess makes DING DONGS. In the East, King Dons. Same exact food — same exact packaging. I guess one name is just too scandalous out here.

annette July 8, 2004 at 1:48 am


Lisa July 8, 2004 at 8:19 am

A Philly cheesesteak place opened up near work. They make a fine cheesesteak. And they’re importing Tastycakes too. Mmmm.

Lisa July 8, 2004 at 8:20 am

Tastykake. Oops. :)

Princess July 8, 2004 at 10:37 am

You’ll also notice that Hellman’s and Best Foods have the same jingle on their commercials. I don’t get it either.

Also, you’ll find yourself making a mental list of all the stuff you can’t get on this coast, for example: duck sauce with your Chinese food, Drake’s cakes, chunky applesauce – oh, and NO CVS. Day’s mom occasionally sends us a “care package” of the stuff we miss – she even sent Tastykakes once!

fleecey July 8, 2004 at 12:31 pm

it’s the same thing here in the land of the canucks. everytime i go out east and end up in a supermarket, mass confusion ensues. why must everything be different? it’s not like i left the country and am suddenly in tibet.

bratchild July 8, 2004 at 2:17 pm

Wait until you try the cottage cheese out there. It is nothing like what you get anywhere else.

skits July 8, 2004 at 2:23 pm

Bring out the Hellman’s! Bring out the Best!

And, now, I have the jingle stuck in my head. I’ve been there with the WTF is that? Or, WHY can’t I find THIS brand of bread/pop/chips/etc. It doesn’t get any better (3 years, and I’m still bitching because I can’t get Martha White Self-Rising Cornmeal out here)–just make sure you have friends who are willing to send you care packages occasionally. hee.

Camille July 8, 2004 at 2:26 pm

Hellman’s is the only way to go!

jadedju July 13, 2004 at 1:58 am

Heehee. I’m so used to it all now, I’ve forgotten that it’s all wrong! I too was mystified, especially by the Hellman’s/Best thing. And of course there are plenty of brands that either never make it west of the Mississippi or east of it.

Having said that, BillH., Miracle Whip ain’t mayo, it’s some candy-esque white goop masquerading as a product made out of eggs and oil.

Also, in SF there are a couple of Philly Cheesesteak (that’s their actual name) places that carry TastyCakes and make a reasonable facsimile of a good cs sandwich.

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