New and improved

by statia on May 20, 2004

I killed my last 100 things. It had gotten old, and you know, I always never have spare time. I figured I’d whip up a new set of 100 things. Something to keep you occupied.

1. I live in suburban Philadelphia. (I’d tell you the exact town, but there’s a law against stalking, and quite frankly, you can’t pronounce the name anyway). I live in bay area CA now.
2. I didn’t grow up here, I grew up half of my childhood in Long Island, and the other half in northern PA.
3. I’d never move back to Long Island, but I’ll always love it there.
4. I have this strange addiction to gummy bears lately.
5. But it has to be the German ones, the American ones are too mushy and greasy.
6. I was married once.
7. We had the most disgustingly amicable divorce in the history of divorces.
8. I have ADD.
9. I get distracted and frustrated really
1610. What the hell was I saying again?
11. I used to hate coffee as a kid
12. Then I got addicted to it.
13. Which sucks, because now I can’t drink it anymore because the caffeine makes me wicked sick. By some sort of miracle, coffee is my friend again.
14. And I think decaf is completely wrong. What’s the point?
15. I swear like a mother fucking sailor.
16. Some of my friends and coworkers try to change that.
17. I don’t really care what they think of me because of this. (or anything for that matter)
18. Personally, I love swearing, and feel that it’s a form of creativity.
19. I think I’m a little nuts.
20. If strongbad were real, I’d marry him.
21. I have the coolest fucking dog ever.
22. Maybe I’m a little biased, but others agree me in the fact that he’s cool.
23. I’m a self proclaimed vodka snob.
24. My favorite being Grey Goose, followed by Chopin, and Belvedere.
25. I’ve always been mature for my age.
26. I think it’s because I went through a lot in my late teens and 20′s.
27. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I have the humor of a 7 year old boy.
28. Doody and fart humor is not lost on me.
29. I look at the maturity and old soul-ness, as a perfect combination with the 7 year old poop humor.
30. I’m pretty humble.
31. But fuck if I don’t have a stellar rack.
32. I’m half polish.
33. The rest is mutt.
34. And 10% fruit juice.
35. I do stupid things on a daily basis (I’m not sure if this is a direct result of being half polish, or just from eating paint chips as a kid)
36. I have naturally curlyish wavy hair.
37. Generally, I hate it, but recently have just learned to deal with it. I’ll usually just let it go on rainy days now.
38. I am totally and completely afraid of the dark (and I’m not afraid to admit it).
39. I totally and completely hate my legs.
40. I think they look like stumps.
41. I hate that I inherited my grandmothers legs.
42. Actually, I inherited my fathers muscle type, and my grandmothers fat type.
43. So basically, it looks like chicken wrapped in jello. (in my opinion)
44. I’m a beauty product whore.
45. I think I was left on the doorstep by gypsies.
46. Maybe I was switched at birth.
47. Either way, I don’t think that I’m much like my family.
48. Except that my humor is warped.
49. “I learned it from watching you allright?… I learned it from watching you!”
50. I’m an athiest.
51. I believe in spirituality within yourself, maybe a higher being within.
52. I will not argue with people about politics or religion.
53. If there really is a hell, I believe that my hell will be filled with stupid people and bad drivers.
54. Oh wait, I’m already there. Nevermind.
55. For as net savvy as I am, I still prefer to balance an old fashioned checkbook.
56. I love office tack. I have tons of office toys.
57. I generally prefer to go commando.
58. Unless I’m wearing jeans, in which case, I wear a thong.
59. Or, unless I’m sleeping, in which case I wear bikinis
60. I can’t sleep naked.
61. I mean, what if there’s a fire?
62. I can’t sleep in anything smaller than a king, alone or otherwise.
63. I hate raisins with the burning firey passion.
64. Yet, I can eat other dried fruit.
65. I think it’s because I found an ant in my box of raisins when I was little.
66. Did you know that ants and raisins are pretty much the same color?
67. Now it’s more of a taste issue. They’re just gross
68. I’ve had cable my entire life.
69. I’m not even really a big tv watcher.
70. I hate reality tv with the firey burning passion (yes, much like raisins).
71. I love office tack.
72. Wait, didn’t I already say that?
73. See? ADD
74. My office looks like a toy store.
75. I used to be a self proclaimed height snob. (I would only date guys taller than 5’10″)
76. I can’t really say that’s the case anymore.
77. Which is a good thing, because the other half is 5’8″
78. This doesn’t bother me at all.
79. In fact, I love it. We fit together perfectly.
80. I generally only drink water.
81. I used to be a juice addict.
82. I never really got into soda. It gives me a stomach ache.
83. I’ve gotten in touch with my girly side over the last few years.
84. Hell, I even like pink now.
85. I like to sing in the car.
86. I find that it soothes me whenever other drivers are pissing me off.
87. I love all kinds of music (except country)
88. I’ve only been off the east coast once. I guess since I live on the west coast now, that’s kind of not true anymore huh?
89. I went to Phoenix.
90. I don’t count Ohio and Michigan as off the east coast really.
91. I’m extremely sarcastic
92. Deep down, I’m a sappy romantic
93. I’m not an attention whore.
94. But I love to be doted on.
95. I think that I have a good balance of being dependent and independent.
96. I’m not a morning person.
97. I don’t like being woken up.
98. I’ve actually threatened lives when I’ve been woken up abruptly.
99. It’s a direct result of me not sleeping well, so when I am sleeping, I like to be left sleeping.
100. This new list took me a month and a half to do and is brought to you by the letters W and S, and by the number 7.


theresa May 20, 2004 at 8:41 am

I’m so with you on numbers 96-98. Not too long ago, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to wake me up at 10am on a saturday when we’d been up till 3am the night before. So I said what any sane person would say – “I should kill you for waking me up”. And then he got all pissy. Some people just don’t understand.

Buzz May 20, 2004 at 8:41 am

Great stuff! And yes, raisins are pretty nasty. I just wish you had told us how you feel about office tack.

buddha May 20, 2004 at 9:11 am

I don’t have time to read through this…..

I’m on vacation for crying out loud!!!


tony May 20, 2004 at 9:21 am

When its time for the East Coast to fall into the Atlantic, please stop considering Ohio as “not off the East Coast”. But you can still have Detroit.

shaunacat May 20, 2004 at 9:30 am

I totally TOTALLY know where #49 came from!! Talk about the worst PSA ever. Dude…you just gave me flashbacks!!

Sarah May 20, 2004 at 9:44 am

Laughed my freaking ass off!

Antgrad May 20, 2004 at 11:48 am

Everything is fine until I get to 57, 58, 59 and then I just lose it. Kind of like Homer when he’s drooling.

PunkAssBitch May 20, 2004 at 4:18 pm

I’ve been reading for awhile now, and neglecting to comment…sorry ’bout that!

but I just had to comment on this one….because it’s so eerily similar to what my 100 things would resemble, maybe a few exceptions… I SO hear ya on the raisins…BLECH!

anyhow…Hi there :-)

Lisa May 20, 2004 at 10:14 pm

Nice list, Sporty. :)

no, my name's not sexy July 29, 2004 at 12:41 pm

re: # 24 – what, no Luksusowa?

would make a fairly inexpensive yet quite similar stand in for your favorites, imho

no, my name's not sexy July 29, 2004 at 12:41 pm

re: # 24 – what, no Luksusowa?

would make a fairly inexpensive yet quite similar stand in for your favorites, imho

no, my name's not sexy July 29, 2004 at 12:41 pm

re: # 24 – what, no Luksusowa?

would make a fairly inexpensive yet quite similar stand in for your favorites, imho

no, my name's not sexy July 29, 2004 at 12:41 pm

re: # 24 – what, no Luksusowa?

would make a fairly inexpensive yet quite similar stand in for your favorites, imho

nicole August 8, 2004 at 3:36 pm

oh god i’m blinded by this comment thing. but anyway, i live in the bay area too. which isn’t that big of a deal, because so do a lot of other people.

Greg December 18, 2004 at 9:05 pm

MYGOOODD! You sound JUST like my wife. You don’t have an evil twin somewhere do you? You kind of look alike, too. The wife was born and raised in the Bay area. Now is somewhere in Southwest Missouri. Thanx, Moondoggie

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: