I fucking hate pants

by statia on May 8, 2004

Guest posting has now been disabled. Thanks to everyone who made me laugh, and Mike, thanks for the heads up. I’m so glad I know now.

I slept in this morning, which was heavenly. I needed sleep. Granted, I was up until about 2am on the phone, but I ended up with still more sleep than I normally get, so it was all good. Currently, I have this $2,000 burning a hole in my pocket, and I really need some new clothes. Mainly pants. It seems like none of my pants fit me. I tried on 20 pairs of fucking pants today. Not one of them fit me the way they should have. Lets talk about the problem I have with pants today shall we?

1. Capri’s. For someone who’s just over 5’2″, finding a pair of capri’s that don’t make me look dumpy, or like I’m wearing floods, is nothing short of a miracle.
2. Low Rise anything. Refer to the height issue in #1. I am not a boy. I have hips. My legs aren’t that long, so you can imagine how fucking stupid low rise pants look on me. They feel like they’re going to slice my crotch in half.
3. Petite pants. What the hell kind of racket is this? I tried on a pair of petite khaki capri’s and they came down to my ankles.

Frustrated and upset, I walked out of the mall in near tears, deciding to not get anything at all, even though there was other stuff that I needed. I went to the gym and proceeded to work out on the elliptical for an hour. I think I went a little overboard, because I feel like I want to hurl. Gah.

{ 16 comments }

Sir Henry May 8, 2004 at 5:15 pm

And, in spite of all that, I still think you are absolutely, positively beautiful, cutie. ;)

corgibuddy May 8, 2004 at 5:19 pm

I know the feeling on pants. I’m just an inch taller than you (All 5’3″ of me), and yet still haven’t found the perfect pants to fit my inseam. :( Capris look downright silly on me, so it’s shorts all summer long for me. Time to send in a “suggestion” note to ON for some new styles that fit those under 5’4″. ;) lol

Bonnie May 8, 2004 at 5:58 pm

Damn … I don’t know how many times I’ve been out shopping for pants and said, “I wish I was 5’2 so I could find pants.”

I’m 4’11. If I don’t shop in the kids section, I have to either a) pay $15 to have them hemmed because they are 17″ too long or b) pay $25-$40 to have the rise adjusted otherwise the waistband is just below my boobs. If I do shop in the kids section, I can sometimes find a pair where the length and rise are okay … they just aren’t made for hips. Kids don’t have hips.

Now what am I gonna say if those who are 5’2 can’t even find pants? Oh, I know. I’ll say, “I fucking hate pants!”

jen May 8, 2004 at 6:03 pm

girl, i feel your pain on finding pants. at just a smidge over 5’3 – pants are either super long..or they are high waters on me.

and btw, i think that sir henry dude likes you, a LOT. ;-)

nastybastard May 8, 2004 at 7:00 pm

No problem. Haven’t you ever seen Kindergarten Cop? lol

Lisa May 8, 2004 at 9:21 pm

I don’t really have any shopping advice for you. I hate shopping too, but for other reasons. I got a few pair of petite capris and they ended up being the right height for me. I’m 5’5″.

Kevin May 8, 2004 at 9:23 pm

F pants. How ’bout a nice skirt?! (hubba-hubba!)

Sir Henry's Sister May 9, 2004 at 9:27 am

Girl, I feel your pain. Once I find a pair that fits my butt, the waist is sticking out so far in the back that I could put a six pack and a bag of ice back there and call it a tailgate party. Low rise??? Yah for 12 year olds!!!!

Sir Henry's Sister May 9, 2004 at 9:27 am

Girl, I feel your pain. Once I find a pair that fits my butt, the waist is sticking out so far in the back that I could put a six pack and a bag of ice back there and call it a tailgate party. Low rise??? Yah for 12 year olds!!!!

Sir Henry's Sister May 9, 2004 at 9:27 am

Girl, I feel your pain. Once I find a pair that fits my butt, the waist is sticking out so far in the back that I could put a six pack and a bag of ice back there and call it a tailgate party. Low rise??? Yah for 12 year olds!!!!

Sir Henry's Sister May 9, 2004 at 9:27 am

Girl, I feel your pain. Once I find a pair that fits my butt, the waist is sticking out so far in the back that I could put a six pack and a bag of ice back there and call it a tailgate party. Low rise??? Yah for 12 year olds!!!!

me May 9, 2004 at 1:40 pm

Gee Jen, ya think? ;o) I think he’s a little biased.

Tom May 9, 2004 at 2:24 pm

You need to get a pair of Bill’s Khaki’s.
http://www.billskhakis.com/

jay May 9, 2004 at 8:07 pm

Make a fashion statement, just dont wear any.

theresa May 10, 2004 at 9:44 am

I’ve got the exact opposite problem. I’m all hips and legs, so I need low rise pants (but NOT the super low rise ones that leave your ass hanging out). Unfortunately, most regular length pants are about an inch too short on me, and most long pants are 2 inches too long. Isn’t there a happy medium?! So I end up cuffing the bottom of my jeans, and spending $60 on work pants at Express. *sigh*.

stinkerbell May 12, 2004 at 6:44 am

I feel the pain. I am in the same situation. Petite (under 5’2″, and tiny- size 0 or 2 now, with quads from hell. Having recently lost weight NONE of my pants fit anymore and what is up with the skirts?? Hi I missed the memo that hem lines are above my ass. Fuck I have belts that are wider than some of the skirts I have been seeing. 1982 called they want their clothes back, LIKE NOW DUDE.)

Best place I have found is Zara, Benneton, Nordstroms (Halogen line) and Banana Republic. Often the “capris” petite or not are what I end up wearing as full length, but their REALLY cropped ones work. But in honest I have given up. If it fits my waist and goes over the thighs then I alter.

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