Horn blows, how about you?

by statia on May 6, 2004

The other day, Mikey had posted an entry to determine whether or not you have road rage. I don’t even have to take the “quiz”. I know I have road rage. Anyone who’s ever driven in the Philadelphia area knows that the people here are complete fuckmonkeys and can’t drive. It’s a well known fact that I’m a tourettes driver. I make no bones about it. The good thing is, that I have witnesses to this. The people that drive here, test my patience to the very limits. Stupidity and drivers don’t make a good mix kids, remember that.

One of the questions on that quiz was, “Do you overuse your horn?” You’d think that I was a complete horn layer. Surprisingly, I’m not. I’m usually too stunned and baffled by the sheer stupidity of the people around here. Yeah, I’m still surprised by it. I had an incident the other day, that caused me to lay on my horn for a good three minutes. It also almost caused me to get out of the car and beat the living piss out of someone. Last weekend, we were going to head over to the art museum. Parking is a clusterfuck, so we circled a few times, and saw that someone was pulling out. I did what anyone would do, I got there first. I put my signal on, and waited for the guy to pull out. You see where this is going right? Yeah, so some jackass comes and just pulls into the spot. My other half, was probably scared at five minute long swear word that proceeded to spew out of my mouth like projectile vomit. I think I layed on my horn for a good three minutes while screaming at them. Of course, they looked at me as if they had no idea what all the racket was about. Fucknuts. I think it took me a good 10 minutes to settle down and then give up the idea of the art museum that day. The experience was tainted.

I think from now on though, my horn is going to be getting used like a 10 dollar hooker.

{ 7 comments }

theresa May 6, 2004 at 9:39 am

I don’t use my horn much either. I usually just call them nasty names. I’ve tried to cut back on the tailgating (don’t want to ding up my pretty new car) and the gesturing / yelling at people bigger than me. I recently purposely gestured and yelled at a man who was driving like an asshole, and he followed me to my destination, and probably would have killed me if I had actually parked and gotten out of my car.

Princess May 6, 2004 at 11:31 am

I think I’ve worn out my horn. Time for a new car.
As for fucknut drivers – they’re EVERYWHERE, and always right in front of me.

jen May 6, 2004 at 12:22 pm

i am so not a horn blower….in fact, i usually have to blow it AFTER i’m mad because i never think about it while i’m pissed off.

i still think it’s just wicked cute that you are saying “my other half” now. heh.

another ed May 6, 2004 at 12:30 pm

I totally hear you. I have way too many stories like that. Luckily the last idiot to steal a place from me couldn’t for the life of him figure out how to park the truck his parents bought him. I was parked and inside while he was making his 5th attempt. It felt wonderful.

Kevin May 6, 2004 at 12:48 pm

Horn Layer!!!!!!!!

tony May 6, 2004 at 8:55 pm

I hate fucknuts, too, but if anyone ever laid on their horn for “a good 3 minutes” (or hell, even a bad 3 minutes) in my vicinity, even if it wasn’t directed at me… they’d need one of those anal sac emptyings to get the horn back out.

rickg May 7, 2004 at 12:33 pm

Yeah, I saw that little quiz myself, and the first thing that popped into my pea-sized brain was that, if I took the quiz, somehow my insurance company would get the results and use it to jack my rates up. Pretty sad, huh?

Oh, and the only time I use my horn is when I want to scare the shit outta someone. Believe me, they can hear my voice any other time. And I’m still laughing about “fuckmonkeys” – damn, that’s a good one!

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