Like whistling zippity do da out of your asshole

by statia on April 21, 2004

I went to my parents for my every other monthly visit, to pick up my mail. Normally, I don’t really run into my parents, because I’m good at going when I think they’ll be out. I got lucky, for a little while anyway. There was a note on one of my envelopes regarding a Christmas present. I haven’t made any effort to get presents for my family in two years. I figure if I’m not talking to them, why bother? Yet, the past two years, they’ve gotten me a present. I feel really weird taking it.

My mother got me this hp photo studio thing. I felt really guilty about it, because I have a camera and a printer, and I really didn’t need it. She knew this, but she still made me feel like shit because I told her I didn’t need it. Normally, my parents try to exchange small talk with me. This time was just weird. They try to act like nothing ever happened. It bothers me. I know people always say you should forgive and forget, but fuck that. I can’t very well sweep all the shit that has happened in the last few years under the rug. I don’t operate like that. My mother even proceeded to give me a kiss on the cheek.

Seriously, am I just such a mega bitch that I can’t let this shit go? Or am I totally normal in thinking that them trying to just forget it ever happened is so very wrong?


Lisa April 21, 2004 at 11:54 pm

My mom has started doing things that smack of “reaching out” in the last 6 months or so. Granted she’s probably older than your mom, but maybe your mom is trying to figure out how to make amends.

robyn April 22, 2004 at 1:12 am

If you’re a mega-bitch, I hate to think what it makes me in my situation with a great-grandchild involved… ;-)

kimberlee April 22, 2004 at 8:59 am

I don’t know what happened but I believe you are entitled to feel however you feel…they are after all your feelings. You can’t just sweep things away for the sake of others because that just ends up making for a more bitter you…they feel better you feel worse. Own your feelings and work through them as YOU need to! =]

Ari April 22, 2004 at 9:50 am

My family puts the fun in Dysfunctional. I haven’t talked to my “so called Father” in over 12 years. If i ever saw him i would not give him the satsifaction of anything in life. Just remember you must do what you feel is right. Maybe just maybe you are lucky enough were your parents are forgetting and just don’t ever forget, but also allow them the opportunity to try to ge tback into your life.

grace April 22, 2004 at 10:13 am

I like what Kimberlee said, you feel the way you do and no one has the power to tell you whether those feelings are right, wrong or four shades of purple. I don’t necessarily believe in “forgive and forget”, what happened happened and it’s always going to be there. You just need to decide how much space, time and energy it’s going to occupy.

I hope you can find your way through the bad feelings, no matter what your relationship with your parents turns out to be.

Now if I could only follow my own advice.

nastybastard April 22, 2004 at 11:24 am

I don’t know what happened either, but do what you heart tells you. If you’re not ready to forgive and forget, then don’t. When you are, you will.

fran April 22, 2004 at 2:44 pm

Well, parents are QUITE the forgive and forget, because it’s their kids afterall, and no matter what they’ve done to you, eventually they realize their wrong (whether they apologize for it or not of course, is a different story and too many reasons why that would be the case).

Of course, I don’t know what the hell they did to you, but like I said, even if they were mega mega bitches, they couldn’t imagine living life without their kid…it’s a parent thing, you’ll understand when you are one yourself

Anyway, what did they do? Did they tell you were adopted on your 25th birthday? *ducks*

Just kidding!

Cathy April 22, 2004 at 2:53 pm

I have a messed up family, My mom is the only one out of 3 sisters who actually talk to my grandparents. I’ve actually gotten used to small family gatherings consisting of my 5 family members and my 2 grandparents. I hate knowing that my family fights, but thats life I guess.

I think you’re more than welcome to be a mega bitch to anyone. I know I get really bitchy when it comes to my family. Its called Stress.

ed April 22, 2004 at 3:57 pm

What I believe is this: Forgiveness and the ability to conduct a relationship are two different things.

I believe forgiveness itself to be kind of a resonsposibility. I really feel the need to forgive people- no matter what, I’ll get around to it. I like to be forgiven, and if I hold a bunch of hurt in too long it’ll mess me up- and that’s really screwed up when it’s their fault to begin with.

It doesn’t mean letting go of the fact it occured. That may have to be dealt with. It’s just about letting go of stuff that will eventually turn me into someone I don’t want to be.

But there are people you just can’t conduct a relationship with, period. They’re not going to change and you can’t continue to put up with it and stay healthy. Thats the point where you just cut it off.

No, it doesnt sound like you’re an MB. Just dealing with crap someone else dealt.

Pamela April 22, 2004 at 7:36 pm

Try looking from a different perspective…
You lose them both tomorrow…
How do you feel?
Feelings are genuine, so express them.
Tell them what pissed you off.
Stand your ground.
Why donchiz all go to RED LOBSTER and break some claws?
I know if my kid was pissed at me, I would rather know what it was all about, then to have him not speaking to me.
Usually parents are about the right thing,
but communication gets bogged down…
For all they’ve done, give ‘em another chance…
*don’tcha dare throw sumpthin’ at me* ;^O

Bagu-Ong April 26, 2004 at 3:03 am

I wish I have a mom who gives me love and a dad who’s around for me but never experience that motherly love ever.

Hopefully someday u would be able to forgive them, just forget about what I said coz I never have a mom so I don’t know :(

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