Press this asshole

by statia on February 4, 2004

For a kick in the ass from me: press 1

For a punch to the neck press: 2

For steel tipped boots to the nuts: press 3

For some jagged glass up your hole: press 4

To hear these options again press 5

If none of these is appealing to you, press the * key, but it won’t matter anyway, you’ll still get the same menu again and again.

To have an operator ream you out verbally: press 0 or just wait and someone will be happy to assist you.

Average wait time is 75 minutes.

I love automated systems. [/sarcasm]

{ 12 comments }

KB February 4, 2004 at 10:12 am

Funny. Guess what muzak-accompanied task I’m doing right now…

Angry Pete February 4, 2004 at 10:17 am

:P resses 2:

buddha February 4, 2004 at 10:20 am

Automated systems can kiss my chinese ass!!

Press 2 to kiss my ass.

mikey February 4, 2004 at 11:16 am

retarded automated systems vs. retarded operators….

yanno? i’ll take the automated system.

fran February 4, 2004 at 12:25 pm

To cop a feel, what number do I press? :P

Bwaahahaha!

sledge February 4, 2004 at 2:32 pm

OOH! OOH! OOH! Can I have a number 3, please?

Thanks, and have a super day!

sphinxy February 4, 2004 at 4:05 pm

*presses asshole*

Hey you asked me to.

jay February 4, 2004 at 5:27 pm

*presses 6*

Ed February 5, 2004 at 3:02 pm

I always go straight to the operator. Either that or “cancel serivce” gets me quick help.

Pamela February 5, 2004 at 8:59 pm

What does press pound mean?
I hate that one, I always think it means pound down the receiver…

stinkerbell February 7, 2004 at 3:08 pm

oh that is perfect. some one who can express my feelings about automated systems.

rob February 8, 2004 at 10:14 am

That reminds me of the “Dial an Asshole” message.

http://www.jillsjokeline.com/dialass.html

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