When you’re a kid and you wanna go whee, but you ain’t got drugs yet

by statia on January 6, 2004

My neighbors downstairs are involved in this intermural football league, and wanted me to go to a game. Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate football. I went anyway though. You know, neighborly love and all. On my way home, I stopped off at CVS to pick up some Nyquil because I couldn’t sleep with trying to get back into the work groove. I love nyquil to sleep because it’s like my happy whee drug, and I don’t get that comatose lead brick feeling in my head when I wake up the next morning.

Anyway, my stomach is screaming at me for not feeding it so much because of operation cut back. I needed a small snack, or something to tide me over before bed. I didn’t want chips or anything too heavy and I wasn’t in the mood for pretzels. I found these Atkins crunchers, figured it’d be perfect for tiding me over before bed.

These are the most vile things I’ve ever tasted. Seriously, I didn’t expect them to be as good as chips, but these things suck worse than I imagined. I really feel sorry for you atkins people. If you want some sort of snack, you have to eat this shit? I’d rather have the fatty, carbohydrate laden potato chips. One more reason why I’d never do atkins.


Empress January 6, 2004 at 12:21 pm

I was so worried that you were going to say they were good! I am an Atkins person (deep down – but not at the moment) and I avoid these things at all costs! There are plenty of other things to eat without this crap!

jim January 6, 2004 at 3:46 pm

“operation cut back”..ahhhhhhhhhhh. good luck

Jimmy January 6, 2004 at 4:14 pm

You hate football???? What’s wrong with you woman? In fact, I think it’s illegal in 26 states to hate football.

fran January 6, 2004 at 4:45 pm

To me Atkins approved foods reads yucky taste foods spelled backwards. Yes, I know it is a physical impossibility, but tell that to the back of my head.

fran January 6, 2004 at 4:46 pm


Feel better soon. :)

ericalynn January 6, 2004 at 6:45 pm

yeah… uh, I don’t know *anyone* on atkins who has ever eaten those things… weird

Sarah January 7, 2004 at 9:01 am

I’m convinced that the Atkins craze is a secret cult and sooner or later we’re gonna find scads of Atkins kids under purple shrouds, having eaten a Jim Jones approved steak.

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