They don’t come when you call

by statia on November 10, 2003

When I was a kid, I loved the Dr. Demento Show. I had a radio in my room because I had a hard time sleeping after we had moved. I used to sneak the radio under my covers late every Sunday night when I should have been sleeping, and listened to all of the silly songs that he would play. I can still hear his voice in my head. Sadly, he’s been taken off a lot of radio stations, which is sad.

One of my favorite songs was Dead Puppies. It was so sick and twisted, but it made me giggle every time I heard it. There are only few other people I know that have known that song over the years. One of them doesn’t surprise me in the least.

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren’t much fun
They don’t come when you call
They don’t chase squirrels at all
Dead puppies aren’t much fun

My puppy died late last fall
He’s still rotting in the hall
Dead puppies aren’t much fun
Mom says puppy’s days are through
She’s gonna throw him in the stew
Dead puppies aren’t much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren’t much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren’t much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies

Any other Dr. Demento lovers out there?


Annessa November 10, 2003 at 11:04 pm

But you know you loved hearing Chitlin sing it. I can’t wait till she sings it at school.

Mom would be so proud!

tony November 10, 2003 at 11:51 pm

I’ve lurked here for a little while and never said anything, but I HAVE to give props to the Dr. Demento reference.

Unfortunately, the only times I really could catch the show growing up was when I could con my parents into switching the station in the car if we happened to be roadtripping on a Sunday night. Even then it was through static. But what a great show!

Lisa November 11, 2003 at 12:16 am

I used to listen to his show all the time. I forget which Philly station we’d get him on. Probably WMMR because that’s what I listened to most of the time. :)

Gary November 11, 2003 at 12:23 am

I never heard Dr. Demento’s radio show (only heard of it), but I actually played the song “Dead Puppies” with my old band back in the early ’90′s. To this day, me and my current bandmate (who was also with me in my previous band) get a kick out of drudging that one up from time to time at practice.

gojou November 11, 2003 at 6:17 am

Ah, Dead Puppies… the musical stylings of Ogden Edsel!

As a kid I listened to the good Dr. in what I consider the heyday of his show, the late 70s. Being as I lived in L.A. where his show was based, we were blessed with *four* hours of live DD goodness every Sunday from 7 to 11.

A couple of years back I gifted my best buddy from those days with a compilation DD CD I made from mp3s culled from the ‘net. It had all the songs we used to listen to as kids: “Dead Puppies”, “Existential Blues”, “Star Drek”, “Irving”, and some others…and, of course, “Titties and Beer”.

Dude almost cried, he was so happy. :-)

Sassy McSmartpants November 11, 2003 at 9:36 am

Oh my god, I loved Dr. D!! My family still sings “Dead Puppies”!

BSTommy November 11, 2003 at 9:51 am

We had Dr. Demento until I was in the 4th or 5th grade or so, when the station he was on changed its format from good to bubblegum country.

To me, Christmas was the best time for Dr. Demento. He had all the great Christmas songs. From Bob and Doug MacKenzie’s 12 Days of Christmas to the Chipmunk Christmas song to the Cheech and Chong classic about Santa and his ol’ lady.. He had all the good ones.

statia November 11, 2003 at 10:56 am

I have that CD Tommy. I love it. It’s a staple in my Christmas music diet.

Ari Devin November 11, 2003 at 11:13 am

Dr. Demonto, one of my old friends and I used to rock out to Dr. Demento. Its been so long since I have heard any of the words. We also used to sing the Sexually transmitted disease songs.

Lepracy, Everything is falling off of me,
Now, I can not take a Pee
How did I get Lepracy

Syphilis, it started with just a little kiss,
Now I can’t even take a piss,
How did i get Syphillis


Beth November 11, 2003 at 11:59 am

I used to listen to Dr. Demento when I was in middle school. I remember going camping in the summer with my family and hanging out at the picnic table listening on a little transistor radio. Last year I bought a couple of best ofs so my my girlfriend could hear the songs. Great fun!

Michael Deibler November 11, 2003 at 6:04 pm

I remember listening to Dr. Demento when I was a kid too. I taped nine weeks worth of his show just so I could get a copy of “Tae Kwon Leap / Boot to the Head”. I even got my hands on a copy of one of his tapes back then called “Dementia Royale” which I think is out of print. I still dig out those tapes every so often so I can listen to songs like “Frosty the Dopeman” and “Making Love in a Subaru”.

Pamela November 11, 2003 at 11:52 pm

“Babbakanooche is in the house!”
“They don’t come, when you call…”
without Dr. Demento, where would Weird Al be?

gojou November 12, 2003 at 2:17 am

The one DD song I haven’t been able to find anywhere? “Kindergarden Dragnet”.

Man, I want it so bad.

whistler November 12, 2003 at 8:53 am

omg! Dr. Demento! Where else could you hear “Star Trekkin’ across the universe. On the Starship Enterprise, under Capt. Kirk!” :-D

Solonor November 12, 2003 at 5:36 pm

Nope. Not me. Never heard of the guy.

And I don’t have his e-mail address. And I didn’t prove that Dead Puppies, not Fish Heads, is really the Number 1 song of all time. And I don’t send him my updated list of the Top 100 Demented Songs of All Time every January. Because that would all be way too geeky for words.

What was the name of the show again?

tj November 12, 2003 at 7:49 pm

i’m looking for “the smallest thing known to man” … i loved that song.

“the smallest thing that’s known to man’s a subatomic particle measured scientifically, under lab conditions to be 10 cm taken to the negative 13th power …”

gojou November 13, 2003 at 2:56 am

“Boot To The Head” is one of the funniest bits EVER.

Mike November 13, 2003 at 3:16 pm

Yup, I’m a Dementoid. Dead Puppies, Fish Heads, anything by Weird Al…I heard it all on the Dr. Demento show.

I miss that crazy old codger…

Christina November 16, 2003 at 1:23 pm

Hee hee hee.

My best friend and I love love loved his show when I was a kid… first thing I thought of when I saw your post about Dr. Demento was “Shaving Cream”…

But I remember Dead Puppies. There were SO many good songs! :D

BillH November 17, 2003 at 11:22 pm

I live in Iowa and used to get Dr. Demento on KAAY Little Rock. My favorite song was Shaving Cream. When I was in high school and college I rarely missed a Dr. Demento program (on Saturday nights).

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