We are family

by statia on October 12, 2003

My cousin Stephanie finally tied the knot yesterday. It was a gorgeous day and she and her now husband David make a really great couple. They really and truly just go together so well. I always knew that boy was a good egg (heh, I love that phrase). Besides, anyone who can make anything (and I do mean anything) go with chocolate, can’t really be all bad now can they?

Yesterday wasn’t only a big day for Stephanie and David, but it was also a big day for me. See, Stephanie and I only met about 6 years ago. Going to this wedding opened up a whole avenue meeting family that I only knew stories about. Lots of cousins and aunt’s and uncles. I’ve met Stephanie’s parents a few times and they truly are sweet and wonderful people, but there were others. With the big “falling out” in the family years ago, you just always wonder what that other side thinks of you. Not that I was a part of that whole thing. It was before I was born. You have a name associated with you. Some people will never let that go. So I was a bit worried about it.

Really, I worried for no reason.

First off, I have to say, that it’s very odd to have people come up to you, and know who you are, and you not have any idea who they are. The “I’ve heard so much about you” thing was a bit intimidating. Those who know me, know that I’m not a shy person, and that really wasn’t the case here at all. I was still very much excited about talking to my newly found family. Despite the situation with my immediate family, I’m very much a family oriented person. I think a lot of us like to be rooted to something. As I sat back and watched my relatives interact with eachother and interact with me, I felt a great sense of peace. No matter what skeletons we all have, I watched fathers and daughters hug. I watched aunt’s and nieces’s talk and laugh like old friends. I experienced the excitement of getting to talk to people that I totally and completely identified with. I found missing puzzle pieces in my life. They were so like my “half” of the family, and me, that it was scary.

I felt accepted. More so than I ever have with my own immediate family. Even after having never met them. I never once felt like an outsider. All of it was so overwhelming though, that I had some horrible dreams about my parents. But after a long drive home, and having lunch with a kickass chick on the way, I feel more like I’ve found a bit of zen, and like I’ll sleep good tonight.


Jonathan October 13, 2003 at 10:29 am

Wow, that’s very cool.

My family has been split up by a falling out (that happened over 30 years ago) on one side; and on the other, my grandmother was an orphan/adopted, so there isn’t much family there. So I’ve always had a small family and wondered what it would be like to get to know so many relatives I’ve never met. The difficulty is in the setup that finally lets that happen.

ericalynn October 13, 2003 at 4:18 pm

I loved this post, thanks so much for sharing it :)

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