Here are the rules my friend

by statia on September 12, 2003

From now on, whenever you’re referencing a man’s package, it should be known as “junk”. Not because it is junk, but because it makes me laugh uncontrollably. It sounds much better when you say “those boxers make my junk look bigger” or “I gotta adjust my junk”.

Please follow the rules or you will be penalized. Heh.


Ryan September 12, 2003 at 1:39 pm

Is it referred to by something else???

*Adjusting JUNK*

matt September 12, 2003 at 1:52 pm

i think thatis what adam corolla calls it.

sledge September 12, 2003 at 2:02 pm

I gotcher “junk” riiiiiiiiiiight here.

okay, that was rude. ;) but yes, JUNK it is.

buddha September 12, 2003 at 2:03 pm

Always been a great catch phrase..

“Yo!!..quit staring at my junk!!”

Cyberangel September 12, 2003 at 2:37 pm

I’ve noticed that being used recently … like on the comedy central commercials for the new man show hosts.

Stephanie September 12, 2003 at 2:43 pm

…or I will be “penalized?” …as in “penal” code?
LMAO – again.

:: sledgeblog :: pc load letter? what the f*ck does that mean? September 12, 2003 at 2:51 pm

this is approaching T.M.I…

why is it that when i scratch my junk at work, someone has to walk into my office right then and there?!…

Annessa September 12, 2003 at 2:53 pm

I love seeing a man scratch away at his junk, and then realize someone sees him. That expression is priceless.

Amy September 12, 2003 at 4:10 pm

I thought it was junk in the trunk – as in, a big ass. Now I’m going to be all confused. ;-)

tj September 12, 2003 at 4:23 pm

you want some of THIS junk? ’cause this junk ain’t for sale.

nope, doesn’t work for me. can we go back to package? ;-)

quinn September 12, 2003 at 5:57 pm

I saw this priceless pic of a fat cat laying on it’s back or side or whatever – the caption read “thanks for cutting off my junk.

.. he did not look pleased.

raven September 12, 2003 at 9:23 pm

Brings a whole new meaning to junkyard and junk drawer…… or should I saw “junk drawers”.

David September 13, 2003 at 1:45 am

Hmmm, how about ‘I gotta recycle my junk’?

gojou September 13, 2003 at 8:09 am

Penalized? Like…you’ll spank me?

Oh, the possibilities this presents. :-)

George September 13, 2003 at 3:55 pm

Nice site, interesting comments. Spank me and call me George, which, come to think of it, is my name anyway.

jim September 13, 2003 at 5:29 pm

“Junk in the trunk”..Amy, that was not right!

ed September 13, 2003 at 9:59 pm

i died laughing when i first heard that term being used on the new “man show” commercials.. do you have a color copier? black and white isn’t so flattering for my junk..

or something to that effect..


Tommy September 14, 2003 at 6:28 am

The first time I ever heard somebody use “junk” to described their junk was in a bar…a buddy came out of the restroom looking miserable.

He explained: “I caught my junk in my zipper.”

It’s just as funny now as it was then.

Mace September 14, 2003 at 9:19 pm

So what’s your name for girl’s junk?

gojou September 15, 2003 at 12:07 am


gojou September 15, 2003 at 12:08 am

or “junkette”…whichever spelling you prefer

gojou September 15, 2003 at 12:08 am

“They took their junk and junkette on a junket.”

Mace September 15, 2003 at 2:56 am

and made little junkies.

Kevin September 15, 2003 at 9:44 am

When referring to the whole package I call it my junk, but when it just comes down to the member, it’s my wang.

todd September 15, 2003 at 9:45 am

“This is my rifle
this is my junk
this is for shooting
and this is for….spunk…”

adi September 15, 2003 at 10:37 am

God only knows how I came across this (or that I bothered to Google for it after reading your entry), but the line about Samuel L. Jackson on this page is hysterical.

Bad Motherf*cker Junk

or, for the non-clickers: There’s no way that Sam doesn’t know that his duffel bag is showing through his fine linen pants; hence that smug, confident smile which says “enjoy my junk, share it with your friends and family”

Hmmm…is “duffel bag” an amusing enough term for you?

RAD September 15, 2003 at 2:29 pm

I have heard it refered to as buffalo shot, con carne, southern jesus and peculier…

but I personally refer to it as “area”

go fish September 22, 2003 at 10:34 am

Eek! A spider!

I’m slightly bemused and little bit intrigued by the fact that the world’s oldest living genital fossil was recently found…

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