Don’t buy the toys that make the noise

by statia on August 19, 2003

When Sarah flew in, I took her over to the mall, and we went to this semi-new store called Five Below. It’s basically a dollar store, but everything is five bucks or less. It’s aimed at teens and preteens with all sorts of little toys and gadgets. Basically cutesy type crap. It’s a great place for office tack, and toys. Yesterday, while sitting in my office, I realized, that I subconsiously picked up all of the toys that are sort of, well, sexual. Click on the picture. Sorry the quality isn’t that great, it was taken with my phone…

I think my subconsious is trying to tell me something. Either that, or I’m a sick bastard.

Shut up.

{ 14 comments }

sphinxy August 19, 2003 at 11:48 am

Not only does that thing make “ball slapping” noises, you should see her face when she plays with it. I can’t tell if its devious or horny.

mikey August 19, 2003 at 11:49 am

that’s not a snowglobe… it’s a stressball! i have one (or two) that are like that. the smiley faces have come off most of the little heads, though.

and that yo-yo ball? it’s always fun to pretend you’re throwing it at people, and then having it snap back.

geez, statia, you have to learn to use your toys!

tricia August 19, 2003 at 11:49 am

lol, I think you’re just a sick bastard.

Kevin August 19, 2003 at 11:53 am

Rad, a water weenie, I used to play with those all the time as a kid.

Err wait was the my real weenie I get those mixed up sometimes…

Sarah August 19, 2003 at 11:54 am

I bet my left maple nut that you’re a sick bastard.

buddha August 19, 2003 at 12:04 pm

Ah…the water weenie!! I too had one of those…No more detail given…
You’re the sick bastard..not me..

robyn August 19, 2003 at 12:06 pm

I often played with my water weenie as a child. I think that explains a lot…

jim August 19, 2003 at 12:07 pm

sick bastard?? hmmm, i dont know..but that $20 bucks you blew isnt helping the “house fund”….knit one, pearl two.

theresa August 19, 2003 at 12:17 pm

my vote is for sick bastard. or maybe you’re just trying to share the love with those that come visit your office. ew.

jen August 19, 2003 at 12:24 pm

okay..jr. came home with that EXACT yo-yo the other day.

what does THAT mean???

(she can NEVER hang out with aunt statia, that’s for sure!)

heh ;-)

peat August 19, 2003 at 1:55 pm

My kids have these toys. They are disturbing indeed. They feel a little too naughty for kids, but they are probably made for kids, I would think more than adults with stress (they make booze and marijuana for adults with stress).

One word of warning, don’t let anyone slam these things up against something you care a great deal about as they may break and ruin that thing forever. Ummm…like a wall in your living room that you just painted or like against new carpet or furniture etc…

Annessa August 19, 2003 at 8:20 pm

Dude, when you squeeze that yo-yo ball just enough, I swear it turns into a boobie.

Don’t ask me how I know, but the kids at Summer Camp sure loved them.

sean August 19, 2003 at 9:57 pm

I got kicked out of a meeting once for playing with one of those water weenies. I hadn’t made the connection as to what it was supposed to resemble yet.

natalie August 19, 2003 at 11:06 pm

Water weenies are also sold with tubes of lube as jack-off toys. As sex toys they cost a good five, six times the normal amount.

I’m just sayin’ is all.

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