Lessons in Stupidity (or, “Hi, I’m Joelle.”)

by left_blank on February 26, 2003

Greetings and salutations. I’m one of your guest bloggers, Joelle. This is my first stint as a guest blogger, so I have to give Statia a big shout-out for trusting me not to kill the plants, starve the dog or poop behind the furniture.

I am not an ignorant person. Nor am I unintelligent. I like to think I’m quite smart and capable, yet I find myself having brilliant moments of idiocy at bizarre times in my life.

Example 1:

My best friend growing up, Michael, lived next door to me. He’s catholic(ish). When I was about 16, Michael, somewhat jokingly, said to me as I left his house one night, “Peace be with you.”

I looked him dead in the eye and said, “Which Star Trek is that from?”

Example 2:

Michael again. He’s about 18 and I’d just turned 17. His younger brother had a house party while his parents were out of town. Their next door neighbors had chickens (which was weird because we lived in a very posh neighborhood). When his parents returned, they discovered that the tablecloth on the dining room table was missing (the bong caught it on fire), their bed had been slept in, the tub had ice melty remnants in it from the keg and there was a dead chicken in the backyard.

Michael’s dad, while bitching and carrying on, put on some garden gloves and grabbed the chicken by the neck and threw it over the fence.

I looked at Michael and asked, in all seriousness, “Why is he wearing gloves?” And before Michael could answer, a lightbulb went off over my head and I said, “Ooooooohhh…so the neighbors won’t know who killed the chicken.”

So now you know. It’s all been a ruse, a fa?ade. There goes my street cred. Yuk it up.

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