May Cause Drowsiness

by statia on December 6, 2002

This morning I was getting ready for work and like every morning, I had the Today Show on. They always play the same type of commercials. Did you ever notice how drug commercials spout off the lists of side effects like they’re pleasant? “This drug is used to help acid reflux. Side effects may include, dizziness, nausea, diahrrea, numbness in your left arm, heart disease, cancer, leprosy, scurvy, and blindness. Please consult your doctor if you experience any of the following.” And the end of the commercial the man or woman always says something stupid like, “Thanks to blah blah, I can live again.” Sure if you call that living. You may end up with a case of the dizzying shits, but at least you won’t have heartburn.

{ 20 comments }

hoopty December 6, 2002 at 10:28 am

I’ve been fighting the dizzying shits all morning. Goddamm runny pizza.

Simply Sara December 6, 2002 at 11:08 am

I know about these commercials, they make it all seem so wonderful, till that small print is read. Why can’t they find a drug to just make you better without side effects? Isn’t technology advanced enough to do this? I guess not. :(

*LOL* Hoopty!

Stephanie December 6, 2002 at 11:41 am

Scurvy? Do people still get that, or is that just for pirates? My favorite one is “may cause black oily discharge.”

statia December 6, 2002 at 11:58 am

Oh yeah, and the black oily discharge is nothing to be concerned about… no.

Tracy December 6, 2002 at 12:08 pm

I had to get a prescription yesterday that they actually had to put in a bigger bottle just because of all the stupid warning messages on the side!!! “May cause drowsiness” “Do not drink Alcohol” “Be sure to take the the whole prescription” “Do not crush or chew” yeesh. Granted, none of those are side effects, so technically, this had nothing to do with the subject of the post, but whatever. I’m medicated. Leave me alone. :-)

chiquita branana December 6, 2002 at 12:08 pm

you said it, sista’.

SpunkyTheMonkey December 6, 2002 at 12:36 pm

it’s madness…i couldnt believe drug adverts when i first came to the states for a holiday…the list of side effects lasts longer than the rest of the ad…over here they make do with “always read the label” and list every conceivable side effect on that or the leaflet.

Sphinx December 6, 2002 at 1:02 pm

It amazes me how much people are willing to endure to solve 1 problem. I think I would rather have heartburn than oily discharge coming out of my ass.

joy December 6, 2002 at 1:15 pm

I was on epilepsy meds for years that slowed down your metabolism and made you really hungry all the time. Thus, these are exssentially pills designed to stop you from ever getting laid. Sure, you aren’t having seixzures, but you weigh 300 pounds. Of course, now that I’m off them and all svelte, knowing my luck they’ll put my boyfriend on some drug that causes “some sexual side-effects.” Medications sorta suck.

shasta December 6, 2002 at 5:36 pm

..yeah…causes me so much confusion….beware of GIRD, GERD, OR GURD…whatever it is.

robyn December 6, 2002 at 6:27 pm

“May cause anal leakage” on all the Olestra food packages is enough to make me toss that baby right back on the shelf! I don’t need their product to help with that. Real life does just fine all on its own…

Ain't too proud to blog December 6, 2002 at 7:08 pm

We’ve been good, but we can’t last…

More prezzies have graced my doorway! Stacy sent the Magic 8 Ball game and Nicole sent the mostest awesome handmade journal. Thank yooooooou! If you’re going to be holiday shopping online this weekend like me, you might be interested to know that this …

Ain't too proud to blog December 6, 2002 at 7:08 pm

We’ve been good, but we can’t last…

More prezzies have graced my doorway! Stacy sent the Magic 8 Ball game and Nicole sent the mostest awesome handmade journal. Thank yooooooou! If you’re going to be holiday shopping online this weekend like me, you might be interested to know that this …

Ain't too proud to blog December 6, 2002 at 7:08 pm

We’ve been good, but we can’t last…

More prezzies have graced my doorway! Stacy sent the Magic 8 Ball game and Nicole sent the mostest awesome handmade journal. Thank yooooooou! If you’re going to be holiday shopping online this weekend like me, you might be interested to know that this …

Ain't too proud to blog December 6, 2002 at 7:08 pm

We’ve been good, but we can’t last…

More prezzies have graced my doorway! Stacy sent the Magic 8 Ball game and Nicole sent the mostest awesome handmade journal. Thank yooooooou! If you’re going to be holiday shopping online this weekend like me, you might be interested to know that this …

Ain't too proud to blog December 6, 2002 at 7:08 pm

We’ve been good, but we can’t last…

More prezzies have graced my doorway! Stacy sent the Magic 8 Ball game and Nicole sent the mostest awesome handmade journal. Thank yooooooou! If you’re going to be holiday shopping online this weekend like me, you might be interested to know that this …

Ain't too proud to blog December 6, 2002 at 7:08 pm

We’ve been good, but we can’t last…

More prezzies have graced my doorway! Stacy sent the Magic 8 Ball game and Nicole sent the mostest awesome handmade journal. Thank yooooooou! If you’re going to be holiday shopping online this weekend like me, you might be interested to know that this …

Tys Miha December 6, 2002 at 8:42 pm

The oily discharge is supposed to come out your ASS?!?
Now I’m really pissed.

ste December 6, 2002 at 10:06 pm

Hahahahahahahaha … man, they should bottle your sense of humor and sell it for premium prices. I think you could make me laugh on the worst day of my life, kid. :) Thanks. ;)

Christine December 9, 2002 at 2:55 pm

I thought of you this morning while I had the Today show on and they ran one of those commercials!

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